New England Mamas

She said I think I'll go to Boston

Tickets to the game: $40 face value (obviously higher if you buy from a third party)

Parking so you don't have to walk 5 miles to the park: $30

Baseball glove to catch a fly ball: $15

Camera to take pictures that will make friends jealous: $100

Cash to yield an overpriced beer, hot dog and soda: $45

A beautiful Sunday afternoon at Fenway Park with my husband, mom and dad: Priceless

If you need me today, sorry... I'll be at the game! Go Sox!

- Jane

Sukkot: The Festival of Booths

Have you seen some strange booth-like shacks in people's backyards and driveways in the past few days? Seen people having lunch and dinner in these little shacks? Entertaining their friends and family with big dinners and then singing until late into the night? Want to know what these people are doing, and why the little shacks appear and then disappear a few days later?

This is the festival of Sukkot, literally translated as the festival of booths. It is a period when your Jewish neighbors fullful the mitzvah of building and then 'living' in the sukkah for 8 days. In modern times, most people don't actually live in the sukkah anymore, but they do eat in them, and occasionally sleep in them.

When I was a child, nobody had a sukkah that we knew, and we grew up in a very observant Jewish community. To fulfil the mitzvah you ate in the synagogue's sukkah but building and decorating your own backyard sukkah wasn't done. Or if it was, it wasn't common. But that changed in the past 20 or so years. Every year more and more Jewish families purchase or build a sukkah, until these days when it's common to see them sprout up all over our town during sukkot. In fact, one of the things we like to do as a family is drive around the Centre and check out all the different sukkahs that are up, especially those in driveways. There's one in town that has an actual door and windows in it. Tres fancy!

The lumberyard/handware store nearby actually sells sukkah kits every year. Our first family sukkah was one of these, but we only used it for about 3 years and then we graduated to the extreme sukkah, which is easy to put up, works well in rain and cold weather to block the wind, and is very easy to decorate. It is a canvas sukkah, hung on steel poles that screw together easily. It takes about an hour to put up, and about 3 hours to decorate!

The sukkah is supposed to have at least 3 sides, and the roof is made of living material like branches, palm fronds, or bamboo mats. You must be able to see through the roof. The rest of the materials can range from wood to plastic to canvas. Ours is the canvas one seen throughout this post. We like it because it's easy to assemble and warm! On these cold New England nights, you want a sukkah that will protect you from the wind and possibly from rain. The canvas sukkah does both admirably.

This is the Jewish family's time to get down and funky and decorate the sukkah with hanging fruits, fancy lights, cards and pictures, etc. Most have a folding table and chairs that people squish around. In our sukkah we use a fall theme with silk leaves and lots of little fairy lights, fancy fruits we purchase left over after that OTHER holiday where people decorate to the utmost, and lots of fall type decorations. Every year we get a few more things as other stuff breaks or disintegrates from being outside in questionable weather.

When my kids were little, they used to look so forward to sleeping in the sukkah. Now, not so much. It's cold here at night, and they're older and complain about sleeping on the ground, blah blah blah. That's OK. I don't sleep in it either.

But when they were little, and we lived in California, there was nothing more exciting than camping out in the sukkah! Weren't they cute?

Labels: Early Autumn, holidays, Jewish, Massachusetts

You want how many?

I love big families. I love the constant noise and fuss. I love sitting around the table with a huge family eating dinner. I love seeing all the stockings hanging. I love the fighting and laughing and playing. I love it all.

I’m one of 4 kids in my family.

I have 3 kids of my own (so far!).

My cousin has 4 kids.

And (ironically enough) all of my close girlfriends want 3-4 children. At least for the time-being.

But for some reason, my Nana thinks I should stop (and be very happy and content) with 3.

As if it would be a complete personal insult to her if I had a 4th baby. (OK, I’m exaggerating a bit here, but it’s still in the arena of truth!)

On Tuesday evening, Nana called to wish my oldest son William a Happy 3rd Birthday. They had the best conversation a 3 year-old could have with an 88 (“and a half,” I know she would add) year-old. I heard a lot of “uh-huh”… and “greats”… and then the finale, “Are you coming to my party, Nana?” (That is, after all, most important to a 3-year-old.)

Then I got on the phone with Nana. I was in the middle of telling her how blown away I am as to how fast the 3 years went by… and where did the time go… when I was cut-off with the –

“I hope you’re done with 3!”

Okay… insert my smiling face here and understand whole-heartedly that my Nana loves me and is truly looking out for my best interests. BUT, she does know that I want (at the very least) one more baby.

There are limited responses (that are PG-rated) that you can come back to with a remark like this. And there are certain factors that I must keep in mind:

1. She’s concerned about the expense of many children.
2. She’s thinking about my well-being
3. **She’s 88 (and a half!) years old and I have to be nice.
4. **She has 3 boys and she wants me to be just like her.

But it got me thinking. Regardless if I have 4, 5, 6 or 100 kids, I’m the one (along with my husband… I’ll throw him a bone here too) who will be carrying the baby for 9 months.

I’m the one who will be getting up throughout the night for feedings. I’m the one who will be carting around diapers and wipes and binkies and toys and books. I’m the one whose car will be dirty with crumbs, crayons, poopy diapers, dirt and all the stuff that goes along with kids and cars.

I’m the one who will be crying in the parking lot of school on first days of school.

I’m the one, Nana. (OK, along with my husband, except for the carrying of the babies, crying in the parking lot, cleaning the car.)

OK? I’m the one!

Not anyone else.

It drives me crazy when I get the comments regarding how many kids one should have or chooses to have.

And this brings to mind my favorite comment of all from my friends with one child: “I know I have one child, but he/she has the personality and energy of 10!”

Really? And you know that because… ??

So to the adorable and well-meaning Nanas of the world. To my girlfriends who stare at me with wide eyes and jaws to the ground when I say I’m ready for a 4th…

I have always wanted a large family. I think I can handle it. I hope I can. It’s just something I want for my life and for my children. I know it will be a lot of work. I know it will be an expense. (And no, I’m not even thinking of college yet.)

My husband and I have considered all of the angles… and at the end of the day, we still want 45 kids. Kidding, of course. I mean 4 or 5.

Okay ladies, I can get off my soap box now.

And Nana, I love you more than anything! I promise I’ll do fine.

- Audrey

Ask the Tech Gurus

It's not every day that brilliant, world-renowned tech gurus like Craig Newmark (founder of craigslist), Jimmy Wales (founder of Wikipedia), danah boyd (expert on online social networks like Blogger and myspace, to name just two), and Jonathan Zittrain (Technologist, Oxford Professor, Lawyer, and all-around genius) stop by to chat.

On Wednesday, October 3rd in Hartford, CT, that's exactly what they plan to do as featured panelists of The Connecticut Forum's program entitled The Tech Revolution.

These "forums" are unique. Envision a handful of really accomplished people and celebrities - authors, politicians, actors, scholars, journalists - sitting together on a stage and engaging in unscripted talk about stuff. Think: Gloria Steinem and William F. Buckley, Jr. sharing their perspectives and wisdom; or Al Franken and Ann Coulter talking politics (yee-ikes!); or Katherine Graham and Norman Schwarzkopf discussing leadership. Kurt Vonnegut's been a panelist. So have the likes of Mo Rocca, Thomas Friedman, Billie Jean King, Elie Wiesel, Jacques Pepin (oui!), Spike Lee, and on and on.

It's a very cool thing, particularly because audience members have the opportunity to jot down questions - any questions - for the panelists, and during the second half of the program, the panelists answer them.

As a New England bloggah and a volunteer for The Connecticut Forum, I might have the opportunity to ask a question of the tech gurus.

Aside from something like, "Uh, what's it like to be so smart?" I'm trying to come up with a good question. Personally, I have real concerns about identity and security online. Lots of my blogging pals post photos of themselves and their families. I wonder if the risk of doing so is real or imagined (e.g., a false fear based on a generational distrust of technology).

I think blog/word-of-mouth marketing is a timely and interesting topic. At the recent BlogHer conference in Chicago, the presence of corporate sponsors eager to understand and subsequently woo the various blogging communities - and parenting bloggers in particular - with money and free stuff, did not go unnoticed. I'd be interested to hear what the panelists have to say about where this trend is heading.

Fellow bloggers and interested readers, what would you like to ask? I will compile the resulting questions you suggest and post them HERE next week. I'll even throw in a little prize for the winning submission. (A PRIZE!!! Yippee!)

Thanks for your help!

Labels: The Connecticut Forum

Shocker: A New Englander, Complaining About The Weather!

(As I was writing this, I was also, surprise, surprise, watching the Red Sox playing the Twins. Bottom of the 8th, 2 outs, 2 men on, Sox down by one and it is pouring rain. Not one single person has left Fenway Park. That, my friends, is dedication. That is a true fan.)

(Edited to add: Dammit!! Youk struck out to lose the game. Fuckfuckfuckfuckityfuckfuck.)

I know a couple of my fellow Mamas have posted stuff about this already, but I haven't and since I love to piss and moan, well, by god, I'm gonna do it.

It's September 27th. It was ninety-freaking-five degrees today. Ninety five. Right now? At nearly 10 p.m.? It's 75. What the hell? Doods, it's almost October. It's fall ball. It's leaves. It's pumpkins and apple picking and corn sheaves, dammit! It's not 85% humidity and me sweating thru my clothes before 9 in the freakin' morning.

Where's my cool, breezy days? Where's my crisp nights? How come I haven't broken out the ancient Roots sweatshirt and beat up L.L Bean barn coat? Huh? Huh??

Fall needs to get her act together and get here. I've had it up to my eyeballs with the heat and the humidity and the stickiness and the lethargy. It's the end of September, for cryin' out loud.

Less of this.

More of this.

Labels: Stupid Weather

Window Shopping

"Would you ever consider moving?"

Fairly Odd Father (otherwise known as my husband) asked the question casually, having just returned from a week-long conference in North Carolina ("really nice weather!", "the people are so friendly!").

I paused before answering in the most passive-aggressive manner possible, saying, "Only if it is for a year, and we don't have to sell the house".

In other words, "nononononononononono!"

I love this little corner of the world we have carved out for ourselves. Our house is neither grand, nor brand new, nor all that unique (colonials being a dime a dozen in New England). But we are surrounded by trees and have the kind of neighbors that make you banish the thought of a fence.

But, even more than our home or neighbors, I feel at home in New England. As autumn starts dipping its toe into our state, I get that familiar feeling of anticipation over the show of colors that will soon be everywhere. Leaves will fall so we can crunch them under our shoes. Apples will ripen so that we can eat them right off the tree. The nights will get cooler so that we can sleep with an extra blanket on the bed.

And, then, with any luck, we'll get snow. I'm not sure why I get so excited about snow, but school cancellations are thrilling to me. I hop on the computer to check the cancellation list like a 15-year-old; this practice is made more peculiar when you realize that I am neither 15, nor in school; in fact, we homeschool so are not affected by the weather.

Fairly Odd Father pointed out that North Carolina has four seasons. . .sort of. Well, no snow, he admitted. To which I said, "and that is good because ? ? ?"

(I'm fickle, though. By February, I'm done with the snow; by May, I'm done with rain; by August, I'm done with humidity; and by November, I'm done with all those leaves in our yard).

Name a place and I can tell you why I wouldn't want to leave here for there.

Friends new to Southern California gushed, "we're finding that it's as nice here as everyone says it is!" But, the lack of rain (less than an inch in the first half of the year) unnerves me, and there is that lack of snow to liven things up.

Other friends are in Kansas, and I have spent many fun days in Chicago; both may be lovely places to live, but I would need to be flown out to an ocean every few months. Plus, I once lived in the tornado belt and heard that siren enough for a lifetime.

After visiting Portland, Oregon, I thought it came pretty close to an ideal place to live, but it is r-e-a-l-l-y far from my mom and my sister's family, and it seems to rain an awful lot. Love snow, don't love rain.

I've also visited Austin, Seattle, Colorado ski country, San Diego, Washington DC, various parts of Florida and Arizona, New Orleans, New York City, the Jersey Shore, parts of Pennsylvania, Costa Rica, the coasts of Canada, and a bit of Europe. In every place, I see something that helps me to understand why someone would want to live there---either it is lovely weather, great culture, fun people or beautiful scenery (or any combination of these).

But, I keep coming back to my home in Eastern Massachusetts, a place with its own version of 'lovely weather', plenty of culture and history, people I love, and scenery that can stop me in my tracks.

Fairly Odd Father and I have agreed, though, that we would consider moving to a new state if the opportunity arose.

What could get me to leave my town, my state? Why, it could only be the land of Ben & Jerry's, maple syrup, Burlington, snow and rolling hills: Vermont. For Vermont, I'd risk it all.

Harvard (but not the University)

What can I say, I'm a glutton for punishment. My sister and I ran a 10-mile road race this past weekend in Harvard, MA. (We actually drove right by the road that leads to the Nashoba Valley Winery--a NE Mamas meetup site a few weeks ago.)

The race started and ended at the Fruitlands Museum. The autumn views were breathtaking and I certainly would have enjoyed them much more had I not been too nervous to run, and then afterwards, too exhausted to notice!

"One of the first outdoor museums in America, at Fruitlands visitors discover the stories, experiments and ideals of the Alcotts, Shakers, utopians, artists and Native peoples. Fruitlands four galleries, singular collections, over 200 pastoral acres, trails and vistas stir the imagination."

Fruitlands offers 3.2 miles of walking trails, along with a restaurant and galleries. It also hosts school groups for field trips. So check out all they have to offer!

And yeah, the race. I described it in detail on my blog over here, but let me just reiterate:

HILLY
Hey wait. I thought this was the Apple Harvest Ramble. Sure looks like Sausage Fest to me.

Mama

I fully admit that I am a bit of an outlier here, as my blogging tendencies don't tend to run in the mommy realm. I blog, and I'm a mom - but often the twain do not meet. That said, I feel that here I can let my mommy flag fly - and so I shall.

In a similar vein, I work, and I'm a mom. I don't often think of myself as a "working mom" because I tend to feel like when I am at work, I'm a worker. When I'm home, I'm a mom. Compartmentalizing? I think so.

Often I am asked why I work. The short answer? I love work. I have worked for a long time, I've built a pretty substantial career and I've gone far - much further than I would have imagined and I've blazed a pretty significant career path. I jumped off the path for about a year, and now that I'm back on it, I'm thrilled. I'm lucky, though, in that I can work from home and strike a decent balance. I digress, though, from the point of my story.

All summer long, I have been toiling away on an enormous project at work - with an eye towards presenting this project to our entire staff. To make a long story short, last week I gave this presentation - complete with a 100-page handbook that I had written, 4 hour professional development presentation that I had developed, multi-faceted power point that I had crafted, you get the picture. Driving home, I felt this huge sense of relief - and accomplishment. Months of hard work culminating in an extraordinarily well-received day-long event run by me. My boss was thrilled.

I was thrilled. I am a worker! I love work!

Driving along, feeling fantastic, I pulled into my daughter's school parking lot. I walked through her classroom, signed her out and gathered her sweater and often-abandoned hair ribbon. I walked out onto the playground and spotted my little doll.

She screeched with glee and came barreling into my outstretched arms, snuggling into my shoulder. Mama.

That one moment eclipsed the highest work high I had felt in a long time.

I was thrilled. I am a mama. And that? Trumps work every time.

Apple Picking Field Trips

Growing up right outside Chicago, I can count on one hand the number of times I went apple picking. There was one time I went as part of a father-daughter group called Indian Princesses when I was in first grade. Every year the swim team would go when I was in high school. That brings it to about five times total. All five of these times were really fun, but the apple orchard was nowhere near where I lived.

Last year I was pretty surprised when I got a flier from my son's preschool saying that the class would be going on an apple picking field trip. It was like getting a note saying they were going on a field trip to milk cows. I was surprised and intrigued. I immediately signed up to chaperone. I also learned that these types of field trips are pretty common. My older son and I really enjoyed it. After picking apples and a pumpkin, we had doughnuts and apple cider. Of course I had made the mistake of telling my son about the doughnuts before we got there, so not only did he start whining for one before grabbing the first apple, but he nearly caused a mass uprising when the other kids "fed" off of his demand for a doughnut. He was less familiar with cider at the time, and he got it confused with a common New England pest.

Tomorrow we will be going on another apple picking field trip. I had learned my lesson from last year. This time I would do it right. I was committed to not mentioning anything about the doughnuts and cider. So what did my son say when I reminded him that we are going apple picking tomorrow? "Doughnuts, Mommy! And spider!"

Autumn is Coming

I can't believe how fast the leaves are changing color. In fact, many are falling to the ground now, and it just became "Autumn" although it has felt more like summer as of late.

Autumn. I like that word a lot better than Fall. Yes, Autumn. It is my favorite season of the 4 we experience here in New England.

beautiful colors - from the leaves to clothes to food - things look so rich and vibrant.

mums - I enjoy decorating my porch with these pretty fall plants, along with checking out others at homes and stores.

pumpkins - to carve, to bake with. It's all goodness!

sweater weather - I do love to walk barefoot normally, regardless of the season, but I do love to wear my cozy sweaters!

apple picking - there is nothing like going to an orchard and picking and eating apples right off of the tree. Brings me right back to childhood memories, as well.

crisp, misty mornings and cool evenings - where you can see your breath

the fallen leaves - swishing and kicking through them

baking - ah, it's time to bake muffins, pies and all sorts of delicious treats

the smells of the season - candles, baked goods, fireplaces

sounds - not only do leaves make a great sound; acorns falling from the trees behind my house tell me autumn is here

comfort food - not only from baking, but the soups, chilis & chowders fill my soul

the holiday season - once autumn arrives, the holidays come fast and furious. Shopping, decorating, eating, drinking, napping...lol

football season - this means hanging out with my in-laws more often, which is a good thing most of the time! We like to hang out together on many Sundays

kids snuggling up - it's a time to get real close and cozy with your loved ones

And let's not forget cuddling up with a blanket in front of my fireplace! Nothing like a nap there, when I can find the time!

Enjoy this Autumn season, whenever it really gets here in full bloom - it goes by so fast!

Labels: Early Autumn