« October 2007 | Main | December 2007 »

November 2007

November 30, 2007

One Big Pipedream.



Welcome to December.

I am not going do indulge myself this year in my annual rant about the behemoth of marketing and capitalism that wraps itself up as Christmas. Nor will I go on and on about the fact that the first signs of Christmas now appear just after HALLOWEEN. Less is more folks. Really. But I promised not to rant. So I won't.

Instead, here is my own personal pipe-dream of a Christmas that exists mostly in my head. You are all invited to share your own holiday pipe dreams as well. Don't feel confined to Christmas. Any holiday will do. After all is said and done, they really do begin to look a lot alike, a mish mash of cultures and customs of days gone by. Christmas is really an essentially pagan holiday at it's roots, (before Jesus came into the picture) a holiday conveniently acquired by Christians of old to help stamp out the old pagan celebrations. Religious and non-religious fantasies (agnostic, here) are welcome. So let the holiday pipe-dreams commence.

************

Thanksgiving is over, and I walk with my family under starry skies. We are far enough out of the city to see constellations. In a few weeks, houses will begin to twinkle with their own stars. The sun disappears too early for many to enjoy the afternoon rays, so up go the lights...icicles, and wreaths, and wrapped trees. Candles warm windowsills. Neighborhoods shine, and chase away the depressing knowledge that it will be dark for a good long while before the sun returns.

On December 1rst, we set up the advent calender. It is made of wood...a winter forest with lots of animals and a curious little house with glowing windows. No candy or toys inside, just beautiful little pictures. I've always liked advent calenders. They create a wonderful sense of anticipation, kind of like an egg timer for the holidays.

December 5th, Saint Nicholas Eve. Dr. Science and I help the Impling find her old klompjes. I set up a little centerpiece on the table. Wooden shoes filled with hay and a carrot for the Saint's horse. Water in an ornate glass. A big red candle to light the way. The flame casts a warm light over the glass and golden wood of the shoes. A poem sits beneath the glass, a collaborative effort until the Impling can write her own. It is a wish list for Christmas.

 

 

In the morning, the glass will be empty, the hay and carrot will have mysteriously vanished. The poem has also vanished, but the wooden shoes are now filled and surrounded by rolls of sweet tarts, chocolate letters, speculaas and stroopwafels. A small toy peeks from behind the pillar candle.

For the next few weeks, life goes on as usual. Here and there little embellishments and decorations begin to appear. Shops begin to play carols, and decorate their windows. The most I do is purchase a few things, mostly for the Impling, as Dr. Science and I don't gift each other. I send pictures of the Impling to all our friends and relatives, and keep a steady supply of hot chocolate and peppermint Jo Jo's on hand. And dark chocolate caramels. I might feel ambitious enough to bake butter cookies, or gingerbread, or not. I will if I feel like it. It is enough to smell cider warming on the stove top, fragrant with cinnamon and cloves. Sometimes I will drink it steaming with a good splash of dark rum and a knob of butter. We listen to carols on the radio...Bing, and Nat, all the good old tunes. We enjoy the anticipation of good things to come.

Ah, the presents. No wrapping paper to be seen, just wonderful glittering boxes that are used year after year, much the same way the ornaments are used. Some of them are old friends. Every year they are dressed up with extravagant bows, and every year they look tantalizing. They have to. Most of them will be opened over the course of twelve days.

Christmas Eve, we bring home a tree. A beautiful, fragrant balsam that freshens the whole house. The night's entertainment is decorating it, listening to King's College choir, eating junk food. There is, of course, a roaring fire. We roast hot dogs and cheese and marshmallows. Not necessarily in that order. After the Impling goes to bed (cookies and milk left in generous quantities), Dr. Science and I watch Tokyo Godfathers, feast on the cookies and milk, and get to bed at a reasonable hour after setting up all the presents, and filling the stockings. We leave the Christmas tree lights on.

Christmas dawns. By the time it does, the Impling has already been up for ages. She bounces into our bedroom, climbs up, and plops down between us. She eventually falls asleep for a short while, then awakes and starts waving her hands in the air and singing her own little songs until we all wake up. We have a leisurely morning watching the Impling open her gifts. We build another fire, turn on some early morning music, Vivaldi, or a Bach Christmas cantata or something. We eat fresh cinnamon rolls and drink chocolate and mocha and perhaps a mimosa or so. The kitchen, of course, is all ready for me to start cooking the feast.

This is the part I love. I love my chef's knife, a big roasting pan, and plenty of wine to baste with and drink. During the next twelve days, we eat all our favorite feasting foods, turkey, goose, tarragon chicken, roast beef, roasted potatoes, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, butternut squash soup, fresh greens with sugared almonds and mandarin slices, cranberry relish with ginger and oranges, acorn squash stuffed with wild rice, hazelnuts and cranberries, oyster stews, oysters on the half shell, huge pots of mussels cooked in wine and garlic, a decadent yule log cake, pies of all kinds for breakfast lunch and dinner. There are three major feasts. Christmas (goose) New Years (roast beef), and Twelfth Night (anything and everything). I never have to clean up afterwards. I just sit by the fire with a good book, a glass of port, and a little dish of Colston Bassett.

On Twelfth Night, we have a costume party. A huge themed blow out for all our friends. We all look forward to this one last bash...wassail and dancing and games and eating until, at last, the festivities are over. Decorations are quickly packed away, the mistletoe and ivy and holly returned to the earth. The tree comes down with some relief, and is mulched. The lights stay up in various configurations in the windows to brighten the remaining winter until the end of February. But just the clear lights. Colored lights are just for Christmas.

 

Real vs. Fake (trees, that is)

Angel1 I never thought I'd be the type of person to have a fake Christmas tree.

Not that I know what "type" of person that is... it just never occurred to me that anything but a real tree would do.

Until I bought my first house.

You see, the real trees I grew up decorating and finding Christmas presents under were our family trees. We went to the tree farms together, as a family, each and every year, making it a tradition.

The tree farm had a little trolley that took us into the "forest," and then after we chose our tree we would feast on clamcakes and chowder at the tree farm's restaurant (not to mention play PacMan in its 2-game arcade room).

But the first Christmas my husband, Steve, and I lived in our first house, we didn't have a tree.

We had just gotten married on December 4th (yes, our 3rd anniversary is coming up!) and were preparing for our honeymoon... not to mention painting the entire interior of our house.

It made me sad not to have a tree, though. Christmas trees were after all, so symbolic to my childhood holiday memories.

So the next Christmas, I was determined to have the smell of pine in our house, courtesy of my own Christmas tree.

But then one day my Mom and I were walking through Michael's and a beautiful, real-looking, pre-lit tree was staring right at me.

And I remembered that both Steve and I are pretty lazy when it comes to taking care of things - and we're both terrible procrastinators. In fact, the only reason my house gets decorated for the holidays is because Mom comes over and does it for me helps me with it.

I pictured our poor real tree getting neglected... Steve and I getting too frustrated with stringing the lights that we'd give up, forgetting to water it... and the decision was made: we would become the "fake tree" type.

That was two years ago, and I have never regretted it.

Of course, Mom better come over soon and help us put it up or it's never going to get done.

Toothless in the Suburbs

My son went to school today with his first, wiggly top front baby tooth dangling from its socket by a sliver of flesh.

As he bragged in between careful bites of toast about his ability to wiggle it back and forth, side to side, and up and down, I couldn't help but relate - to the tooth.

Climbing_image Dangling by a thread.

Being pushed and pulled and wiggled and waggled every which way, both by forces of nature but mostly by my very own hand.

Holding on as if it meant life or death.

It does, of course.

All this dangling and pushing and pulling and wiggling and waggling means life and death for both my son and for me.

We are growing.  

Come this evening my son's front baby tooth will no doubt be placed underneath his pillow, and he will dream of a wonderful, magical world sprinkled with fairy dust.

Tomorrow, while he marvels at the bounty under his pillow, I will inspect his gap-toothed smile and see signs of an emerging new tooth - a bigger, better, shinier version of the old one.

And I, sprinkled with fairy dust from a wonderful, magical world, will dream of  the ways my son, my baby, will grow into his adult tooth, and also how I, his mother, will emerge in the world.

November 29, 2007

In My Comfort Zone

We recently had to move from the leafy, college-y suburb into the city next door.  For a variety of reasons, we could no longer afford our mortgage.  Or the repairs on the mildew-ridden[s]piece of shit[/s] house. 

So here we are, in a small city.  A city with a not-so-great reputation.  A city where  I routinely see  hookers on the corner when I drive my daughter to school.  A city where  boarded up buildings are as common as those in use.  A city where you hear Spanish spoken more frequently than English.  My lily-white butt should feel kind of nervous and out of my element.

But instead, I feel at peace.  I like to hear the cars driving by, I love seeing the different foods available at my local market.  I feel like I've moved 100 miles away instead of only five.  As I've been driving back and forth to our old town, I've noticed the buildings on my route.  Most of them are gorgeous.  Plenty of them are run down, some probably beyond repair, but there is still a beauty in that desolation and I long for unlimited funds to renovate, restore and bring back to life this once-thriving mill city. 

I'm itching to get my camera and wander the streets to take pictures of this place, to show that in spite of its reputation, in spite of its gritty nature, there is still beauty here, beauty that shouldn't be overlooked or dismissed just because it's in the city it's in.  There may well be projects underway to help revitalize this place - I really hope so because even though we've only been here three weeks, I feel more at home than I ever did in suburbia. 

Newton Area Parents: Free Lead Testing at Local Toy Store

Many of us are tired of dealing with dangerous children's products and have decided to take action.  We even wrote about the advantages of shopping at responsible local toy stores because the owners tend to care more about you than the nameless employees at your local big box store.

I'm happy to share the following information from a toy store in Newton that is offering free lead testing on up to five of your existing toys. Now you can find out if that family heirloom train set is really covered in lead paint or not.  Wonder no more!

Kudos to Green Planet Kids for providing this service!

LEAD TESTING DAY !

WHAT:

Concerned about recent reports of lead in toys? Bring in your toys to
be tested with state-of-the-art, high-powered testing equipment. This
is a free public service brought to you by Green Planet Kids in
partnership with a company that uses x-ray fluorescence technology.

WHEN:

Friday, November 30th, from 12 noon to 8 pm.

WHY:

With all the recent press coverage of toys that have been recalled
because of lead contamination, we had our merchandise tested so that
you can shop at Green Planet Kids with confidence. Now we want to
give you the opportunity to do the same with some of the favorite
toys that you have at home.

WHERE:

Green Planet Kids
22 Lincoln Street
Newton Highlands

617-332-7841

HOW:

Look for bright orange, red, or yellow toys, especially those that
are put in the mouth. Limit of 5 toys per household, please.


Earning the Big Bucks

As a paralegal, I am required to bill my time.  That is, a description of whatever task I perform must be written down, along with the amount of time it took me to complete that task.  So that, in turn, the client can be billed by the law firm for the services performed on his/her behalf.

So for the past 10 years (!), while at work, I've been living my life in 6 minute increments:
.1 = 6 minutes
.5 = 30 minutes
1.0 = 1 hour
You get my drift.

My new job?  (That starts on Monday.  Ack!)  I DON'T HAVE TO BILL MY TIME!  This is huDge, people.  Keeping track of my billable hours has become second nature to me, but it seems like it will be so...freeing...to NOT have to record every little thing I do!

So in memoriam, here's a little spoof on my paralegal timesheets.  Instead, I offer you my billing for an 8-hour day in the Trenches, from the time Hubby leaves for work until he returns in the evening.  I'm certain that you all will be able to relate!

HYGIENE, which includes:
Butt wiping
Nose blowing
Face wiping
Hand washing
Diaper changing
TOTAL= .7  (Why are my boyz so...leaky?)

MEAL PREPARATION & SERVICE, which includes:
Breakfast
Snack
Sippy-cup refills
Lunch
Snack
Sippy-cup refills
Dinner
Dessert
TOTAL=2.0 (Here in the Trenches, meals are equivalent to feeding time at the zoo.  After the animals haven't been fed for a week.  Or two.  It's that messy.  And chaotic.)

CLEANING, which includes:
Wiping countertops
Scrubbing gook off kitchen floor
Assorted picking up
Washing dishes
Vacuuming
TOTAL=2.5 (This total could easily be much higher.  I feel like I spend my entire day with either a sponge in my hand or a buttload of toys in my arms.)

LAUNDRY, which includes:
Sorting
Folding
Putting away
TOTAL=1.0 (Frigging laundry.)

REFEREEING, which includes:
Breaking up fights
Administering and following through with time-outs
Making sure all portions distributed perfectly equally
TOTAL=.8 (Seems like much longer though.)

ADMINISTRATIVE (ie., non-billable time), which includes:
Blogging
Reading newspaper
Answering/making various phone calls
Peeling off nail polish
Sneaking leftover (albeit stale) Halloween candy
TOTAL=1.0  (Ok, maybe its a leeetle more than than, but for the sake of the math working out, an hour it is.)

The kicker?  My old law firm pimped billed me out at a rate of $150 per hour!  Hmmm...do ya think I could present Hubby with an invoice for my services rendered in the Trenches? 

Riiiiiiiight. 

November 28, 2007

For All You Grinch Fans...

Stop the insanity! Another recall.

Bluewigglessc Boppy, maker of the popular pillows so frequently used by breastfeeding mothers, is recalling 38,000 thousand of their slip covers because the zippers could break and could be a choking hazard. 

If that wasn't bad enough, and honestly a possible broken zipper didn't scare me too much, but the zippers are also said to contain excess lead.  Not just lead, but excess lead.

I'm not naive.  I know that lead paint is common in many areas of our life.  Certain candles, for instance, contain lead (which is why I burn soy candles that specifically say on the label "No lead", 'cause I love my scented candles).  Water, for the love of Pete, contains a bit of lead.  And I know as a child I chewed many a painted windowsill that no doubt was covered in toxic lead paint.  Which, come to think of it, explains a lot about my personality.  I never have had much of an attention sp... What was I saying?

But I digress.

I'm not an alarmist and so far, to my knowledge, my family has escaped the lead paint toy recalls.  But don't think I haven't considered buying one of those lead paint home test kits.  My father in law, who is an alarmist, told my husband and I just the other night that we should purchase one and I almost began to agree with him, until my husband started rolling his eyes.  Then I was 100% on board with the idea.

The Boppy recall may seem small compared to Thomas the Tank Engine and Dora the Explorer (quick aside: does anyone else want to call her "Dora the Explorah" is it just the ghost of my New England accent I fought to kill?), but I know that my daughter as a baby used our Boppy on many an occasion for tummy time.  I cringe at the thought of how many times she had the zipper in her mouth.

I'm tired of recalls but I'm afraid we've only scratched the lead painted surface.  I think this is just the beginning.  The question is, how much lead are we willing to live with before we tip the scale from concerned parent to overprotective, psycho parent?

Buying a Christmas Tree

The first year that my husband and I were married, getting a Christmas tree waTrees1_2s a big deal for us, not just because it was our first tree as a married couple, but because it was my husband's first Christmas tree ever.  My husband is Jewish so not surprisingly, his family did not have Christmas trees.  He put a lot of effort into carefully researching the places around here to get a tree.  Since we were new to the area, we really didn't know where to go.  He ended up finding a Christmas tree farm a short distance away.  Then he even informed me of an extra special treat:  we could cut down our own tree!  We could barely contain our excitement.  Looking back on that now makes me laugh.  While I had grown up having Christmas trees every year and spent a lot time mulling over which tree was the perfect one for our family, I had never had the opportunity to cut down my very own tree.  I didn't even know you could do such a thing.   I would practically be at one with the tree!

Of course since we didn't have kids, we slept in that morning and took our time to get ready and get out the door.  While I don't remember it specifically, I can pretty much guarantee that we probably went out for brunch or stopped somewhere for a nice leisurely cup of coffee.  Looking back on this also makes me laugh.   Being able to  take five sips of coffee in a row without interruption would be a leisurely cup of coffee for me now. 

By the time we actually made it over to the Christmas tree farm, it was dark.  Dark and cold.  We were tired.  My enthusiasm had started to fizzle.  I began to wonder how long it would take to cut down a tree.  We got out of the car and told the person working that we wanted to cut down a tree.  He said he just needed to get a saw for us.  I was picturing a chain saw.  What he gave us looked like a toy saw.  I thought it was a joke.  It wasn't.  I swear my kids have more powerful plastic toy saws than the saw he said gave us to use.  We looked at each other and both suggested at the same time merely getting one of the trees that had already been cut.  I mean really, there wasn't any difference.  In fact, we realized that our most perfect tree was not on the farm to begin with, but rather sitting in the rack of pre-cut trees waiting to be purchased.   If we had gone to cut down a tree, we would have missed this  ideal tree.  At least that's what we told ourselves as we loaded our new tree onto the top of car.  Then we proceeded to drive about 5 miles an hour on the busy, two-lane road with a 50 mph speed limit that we had to take to get home while hoping that the tree wouldn't fall off the car. Remember how I said the farm was a bit of a distance away?  That meant it took about 5 times as long to get home.  Now we buy our tree already cut and from a place that's only 10 minutes from our house. 

 

November 27, 2007

Four More Days...

V2of6tool...until Home Depot craft day! 

It shouldn't be that exciting to me.  It's a big, soulless chain store that has nudged billions of cute little mom-and-pop shops out of business, it's loud, it's pre-fab crafts that we'll keep for a few weeks and then throw out.  Reality is so annoying, sometimes.

Because the craft just delights some small part of me.  It's cute.  I get to play with tools.  I look competent in front of the condescending grandfathers who can't believe a female knows a hammer from a pneumatic drill.  And it's free.

Have I ever mentioned that my favorite word in the whole wide world is "free"?  I'm a sucker for free stuff.  I'll give blood for a cup of chowder, I'll cross a crowded mall to get a sample of Chinese food, I'll drink a horrifying rum-citrus-concoction in Paris just to get a free t-shirt.  So a free craft, in which hammers and nails are involved, and a morning's entertainment?  Sign me up.

My husband is less enthused.  He's on the impulsive side, and finds instruction booklets to be beneath him.  And then Ye Olde Competitive Streak starts to shine through, because his lovely, elegant and delicate (snort) wife is creating a recognizable train/boat/napkin holder/nuclear reactor, while he has something vaguely resembling a squid.  And he gets pale, and fire spurts out his ears, and small children run away whimpering.

I just love craft day.