ESPN is reporting a dog belonging to Jonathan Papelbon - the Boston Red Sox's World Series clinching closing pitcher - ate the baseball from the final out of the 2007 World Series.
Now, my dogs have eaten enough things in their day. Just the other day they stole a few apples off the counter while I was out of the house. My fault entirely, as I left them where they could be reached. And my dogs have been known to steal Girl Scout cookies from a closed pantry. But something as important as the ball thrown during the final out of the Sox's second Series win in four years?
What the heck happened Jon?
"My dog ate it," Papelbon reported to the Hattiesburg American. "He plays with baseballs like they are his toys. His name is Boss. He jumped up one day on the counter and snatched it. He likes rawhide. He tore that thing to pieces."
"I'll keep what's left of it."
Well, yeah. Of course you'll keep what's left of it, dog slobber or no dog slobber. I almost licked the crumbs of those Girl Scout cookies that were left on my floor, I'm sure you'll keep the chewed hide of the ball. But those cookies were left on a fairly high shelf in a pantry (that my dogs are clever enough to open). What I'd really like to know is why the ball was on a counter where the dog could reach it. Bad dog owner. Bad, bad, bad...
So, to one Jonathan Papelbon - I'm offering my services as a trainer to you. Given my history I certainly know what it's like to mess up and leave my dogs in a situation where they have no choice but to be naughty. However, it only took one chewing of my shoes to train my dogs to never, ever touch Mommy's pretty things. I can help you too. And it won't even involve a shock collar... For the dog. You might be a different story. I mean, really. Who's the "Boss" in your house?
Do you think the ball will be worth slightly less now?