On My Own.

The stars and planets aligned just right this weekend, leaving me alone in the house from Saturday morning until Sunday afternoon.  Let me repeat myself:  glorious solitude is miiiiiiiiinnnneee! 

I don't know about other people, but I love being alone.  I've always needed time away from others, as far back as I can remember from childhood.  I'm the oldest, and my sisters and I are each about 20 months apart, so by the time I turned 4, there were 3 of us already. Some of my earliest memories involve time spent in secret hiding spaces, like sitting a closet or laying under a bed.  It sounds odd, but the memories feel safe and comforting. 

As I've gotten older and become the mother of a child with sensory issues, I've come to recognize some of those same feelings in myself.  Too much noise makes me jittery, strong smells make me gag, and I rely heavily on visual cues - bulletin boards, chalkboards, post-it notes on every surface - to keep me on track.  I also have an inordinate fondness for cashmere sweaters, flat shoes, and elastic waistbands.  These clothing preferences could be "sensory," but c'mon, I'm a chunky middle aged woman!  Let's call them "common sensory" choices, shall we?

As a parent of young children, you have to be in "Alert" mode all the time.  It is incredibly relaxing to be able to turn off that switch every now and then.  I don't think enough parents, moms especially, take the time to recharge by being alone.

I usually feel compelled to work on a project of some sort when I get a chunk of time alone like this.  This weekend, I am painting one of the small walls in my kitchen with black chalkboard paint.  I'm blasting the "inappropriate for children" music, I'm eating non-meals of cheese and crackers and fruit, and I'm watching gory investigative crime dramas full of fake autopsies on television.  It's wonderful, and I highly recommend it. 

If you are feeling frazzled and discombobulated, I have some advice.  This week, when your family asks what you'd like for Mother's Day?  Don't answer and say the usual flowers and brunch will be great.  Instead, just tell them to leave you alone.

Comments

[Paula]

Another solitary oyster here.

Though usually a good walk does the trick for me these days. Beggars can't be choosers and all that.

Except for next weekend. There's a pedicure and a facial with my name all over it. And at least one morning of sleeping till noon. Or nine. Whatever.

[Kate]

I had a whole week alone last summer. The days were wonderful... I redid the kitchen, floor to ceiling, and organized the office. But I also just sat and appreciated the silence, and ate what I wanted to, and watched TV at whatever volume I deemed appropriate (which, being hard of hearing, was LOUD). I couldn't sleep well at night, but it was a small price to pay for some productivity and self-rediscovery.

[Emma kw]

I once watched 6 episodes of the Sopranos in one day!
I also request alone time for Mother's Day, plus dinner that I do not have to make, shop for or decide about in any way!!
I usually spend the day gardening, unless it's raining, then see above re Sopranos!!!
This year, however, I have requested the company of daughter on a trip to the Burlington Mall - I have a hankering for a new handbag, and she needs prom jewellry and an evening bag - and some quality time with my little girl before she heads off to college!

[Amy]

Yesterday Hubby planned to visit a friend of his at his home. The friend mentioned that he'd be home alone with his little boy (the mom was working), so if Hubby wanted to bring Sweetie along, that would be great. The friend never mentioned anything about whether I should/could come along as well.

I was offended. Why couldn't I come? It's a Sunday afternoon - I've got nothing better to do. And I like this friend. Hubby and I both haven't seen him in a long time. The guys wouldn't be watching sports or doing anything more active than talking and probably cooking (that's what they do together - honest. They cook and bake. I kid you not). So why couldn't I be involved in that?

Or, OR... why did Sweetie have to go along? I was free. There was really no need to take her from home. In fact it made more sense to me that she stay home, so that the guys would have less kid worries on their hands. No fighting and/or whining to referee between Sweetie and this friend's son.

BUT - Hubby ended up taking Sweetie after all. Leaving me behind. And I must say - I enjoyed that time! I got some important work done that took me a long time to complete. And then I got to just chill. Just be. And it was great.

Lesson learned. When the option presents itself, let Sweetie go.

[Kim/hormone-colored days]

I'm with you. I like me some quiet, alone time. My husband used to take our two boys and his father for an overnight "male bonding" trip. Hmm. Have to see what stalled that tradition and get it going again!