All I Want for Christmas is... A Lifestyle Lift. Yes, really. Okay maybe not. Well kinda, yeah. Oh, I don’t know.
You see, I thought I would be the kind of woman who would grow old gracefully. The woman who would embrace her maturity, crow’s feet, laugh lines, underarm sag and all. Come to find out, no.
I don’t want to
I have a waddle, dammit. I am not happy about this. And jowls! What the heck am I supposed to do with jowls? Stuff nuts in them for the winter??
What’s worse is, as I slide
You know why hindsight is 20/20? Because it wears progressive lenses, that’s why.
So Santa, I guess what I really need is the gift of acceptance. I need to learn to love this new body of mine with all it’s creeks and pops and aches and pains. (And the jiggly bits, Dog help me I need to learn to embrace my jiggly bits.) The body that is still beautiful for all it has had to endure and has risen above. The body that has carried and bore two beautiful, healthy children who deserve a good role model.
Oh, and world peace too, please. That's all I want, really.
(But if you want to slip just a little Botox under my tree, just a tiny bit, it’ll be our little secret.)
--------This is not an advertisement or an endorsement of the Lifestyle Lift, Botox, or any other type of plastic surgery. But if they need a spokesperson, I'm available.