From the first time we seriously considered something was "wrong" with
Peanut, I sought out other blogs written by people whose kids were different.
It was partly to get some idea of what to look for, partly to hear
about therapies and approaches, but mostly it was about finally hearing
other parents talk about their day-to-day experiences. We were doing
our best to figure out our son, and it was refreshing after an afternoon of pulling rocks out of his mouth to go home and read about some other kid's meltdowns, and laugh at the humor these men and women found in their experiences.
When
you have a child who is not profoundly disabled, it can be very
difficult to figure out what is going on with them. Just like with
neurotypical kids, the issues you deal with are fluid and very
dependent on the age of your child. There is a huge amount of growth
and change in those first few years that makes it hard to pin down your
child at any one point and say, "Is this normal?" Just when you think
you have a handle on it, something changes!
We've spent years explaining idiosyncrasies away by saying, "He's
mildly autistic," when in reality it was only this past week that we
received an official diagnosis.
Over
the last few years, each time a new issue or problem with my son would
crop up? I'd head right back to all the blogs I've discovered. I've
found such guidance and strength there, and after reading one heartbreaking post in
particular yesterday, I wanted to share the wealth of knowledge and
humor that is out there for anyone wondering what to do about their
(possibly) delayed child. I also think (because these particular three
are very well-known bloggers) one of the reasons I return over and over
is because of all the comments they generate, which in turn have led me
to other bloggers.
One of the first blogs I found was Friday Playdate,
written by Susan Wagner, whose oldest son Henry has a non-verbal
learning disability and other issues that help me predict what school
will be like for us. His experiences and ups and downs, and more to the
point, the way Susan and her family cope with grace and humor, has been
such a boost to me. Reading Susan's blog answered questions I didn't
even know I had. My kids are roughly the same ages as hers, and as they
get older, I see some of my own experiences mirrored in her posts,
which is remarkably reassuring.
Amalah
has been making the same journey I did when Peanut was 2. It is so hard
to have such a loving, lovable kid, a kid you just want to snack on,
and yet to see in so many ways that he is different and other
and Not Like Other Toddlers. I read Amy's posts and remember so well
those feelings and experiences - Peanut has been a snuggly and loving
kid from the beginning, so how can he have an Autistic Spectrum
Disorder? Don't all toddlers drool? Look how affectionate and funny and
smart he is! Look how great his personality is! Look how many weird
things he does... oh. Right.
Last, but the whole inspiration for this post, is Mir Kamin, from Woulda Coulda Shoulda.
She is someone who I look to again and again for parenting guidance,
and she would no doubt be appalled to read that. Mir, and her Monkey,
had a tough day yesterday
with his sensory processing issues, and reading her post gave me a
glimpse of the kind of hurdles we are sure to face in the future.
Every
kid is different, but for all the moms and dads out there who are
worried by something you see in your child, a great starting point is
to find some other parents who are blogging about the way they handle
it. Whatever IT turns out to be. Here are some other great bloggers I
read with kids who have something different going on, including two of my fellow New England Mamas bloggers*:
Chag at Cynical Dad
Erin at Finding Yourself Despite Yourself
Flea at One Good Thing
Kyron at The Special Parent
Tricia* at Unringing the Bell
Karyn at Vexed in the City
Margalit* at What Was I THINKING?
Maddy at Whitterer on Autism
Please, please, please add links to other blogs you think I should check out in the comments!
