New England Mamas

Beginning of the School Year Fatigue?

Ever since my older son was born I have been looking forward to him going to kindergarten.  Relax!  I'm kidding!  In all honesty, kindergarten did hold a certain appeal to me for a variety of reasons.  First of all, I just loved kindergarten myself and I was looking forward to my son being able to experience it. Second, can we just say the bus?  Yes, I know that a lot of parents don't like the bus.  In fact, reactions to the bus seemed to be almost on the same level as formula feeding. However, in our town, all the kids go to one big kindergarten only school and the buses therefore are kindergarten only buses.  My child would get to have a wonderful time at kindergarten, and I wouldn't need to drive him.  What else could I ask for?

In the middle of the summer, we found out that he got off the waitlist for full day kindergarten.  Seeing as getting a spot in full day kindergarten is like winning the lottery, I quickly accepted it and hoped that our lines hadn't been taped.  Who knows who may have tried to impersonate me and deny the acceptance so their child could get in off the waitlist!  I'm kidding!  But we did quickly accept the spot. 

The morning of the first day of  kindergarten came this week.  All of the sudden instead of being the relaxed Zen mom, alright I'm not ever really that, I was rushing around the house trying to get lunch packed, the backpacked packed, the name tag found etc.  Basically stuff I thought I had prepared for the night before but actually putting it together took forever.  I got him off without a problem but had used the time I normally prepare for our day to prepare for kindergarten so my younger son and I were over a half hour late to meet friends at the park.  Yes, I used to run late all the time when they were babies, but for the past year and a half or so I'm pretty much always on time. 

The afternoon came and all of the sudden it was just my younger son and me.  He didn't have his brother to play with him.  That meant I needed to do it.  Sure, I play with my kids every day, but not the whole afternoon.  Late afternoon came, and we had a bus mishap:  my older son was put on the wrong bus.  It was his birthday too.    Everything ended up being fine, but I put on my best performance ever to not act as a panicked mother and freak out my kids and everyone else's. 

The next day was pretty much a repeat of the day before except fortunately everything went well with the bus and I didn't have an hour worth of forms to fill out like I had the previous evening.  I went to bed at 8:30 pm which is early for me.  Friday was the last day.  This time I sent in a lunch ticket.  Again, pretty much the same as the day before had been. 

Last night my husband commented on how tired I looked.  I commented on how exhausted I felt.   There was no denying that I was just wiped out from the week.  I know that it will get better.  I know that when I no longer have a birthday cake in my fridge my son and I can put together his lunch the night before so at least that will be better.   I think what I was just so surprised by was that I was on major mom mode the whole day.  I did even touch on getting him to Tae Kwon Do this week or the fact the my husband had two soccer coaching meetings this past week in the evening. 

Somehow I had foolishly thought that I had made it past the rough part of  parenting schedules only to realize that things had just shifted.   It's like when you think that when your child is out of diapers that you'll suddenly have all this money when in fact the money is just being spent differently like on swim lessons and/or preschool. 

Words of advice from any of you seasoned moms out there?  I would greatly appreciate it.  For the record, my younger one will be starting preschool two afternoons a week in a couple weeks. 

Summer Fun

School’s out and summer is almost here.  Trying to find the summer camp to fit your kids can be difficult.  Especially if two of the camps they want to attend run the same week!  My girls are doing some sporadic summer camp and other daily activities.  Next week starts our first planned activity of the summer.

Monday, all three girls will be attending Vacation Bible School (VBS).  Ironically, this was their choice, not mine.  A friend runs the program and invited the girls last year.  They attended and have been asking all year when they can go again.  You’d think with going to Catholic school, they’d be sick of religion.  But they love it.  It doesn’t matter what religion you are, you’re more then welcome to attend.  A bonus – there is barely any cost.  Many just ask for a donation.  Check your local churches for some fun activities this summer!

Monday also starts soccer camp.  While the girls will not be attending due to them wanting to go to VBS, I will be there.  One of my responsibilities as soccer VP was acting as a liaison between our soccer league and Challenger Sports.  If your kids are into sports, I highly recommend checking out their website to see if they offer any soccer camps near you.   Our soccer league has used this British soccer company for the past few seasons.  The trainers are highly enthusiastic about the sport and engage the children by introducing the sport in a variety of child friendly ways.   Seriously, check them out!

Monday, I’ll also be hitting the library to sign the girls up for the summer reading program and some craft days.  Einey went once a week for four weeks last year to the library for 1 ½ - 2 hours to make crafts.  She loved it!  This year, I’m signing the girls up for a few craft days, as well as Einey up for some craft days lead by the local girl scouts.  The best part, it’s free!   

Next weekend, Einey is going to one day of Girl Scout camp, or Camporee.  Her troop is not doing an overnight, which is fine by me.  I could send her to a weeklong program at any one of the Girl Scout camps, but there really are not any that are close by.  Plus I’m trying not to do week long programs.  Just enough to give them something to do to break up the monotony of being at home.

The following week, the girls will attend summer camp at their school.  They encourage you to leave their bikes and have a HUGE water slide set up.  Plus there are games and activities and they get to see their friends.   And they are putting in a new playground this week.  They’ve never had one before. Unlike many parents though, I didn’t sign them up for full week sessions, just a few days spread out through out the summer.  There are field trip days as well, but I didn’t send the girls to those.

If your school doesn’t offer summer camp, check your local Rec. department.  They usually offer full day summer programs as well as field trips.  The downside is, at least around here, they are fairly expensive!

Another thing I need to sign them up for is swimming lessons.  We’ve done swimming lessons through the Re. Dept. for the past two years.  The girls have fun and I like that they are learning a life skill.  For us, I feel it’s important that they learn how to swim!  We’ve got our beach passes already and cannot wait for the lake to open for many lazy summer afternoons of swimming.

One program we haven’t checked out, although I know the girls would love, are the week long summer sessions offered by Mad Science.  We’ve been to birthday parties at Mad Science and the girls LOVED them.  Maybe next year!

Another place to look would be your local community college.  The one near our house offers a kid’s academy.  Each week has a theme such as animals, science, cooking, etc.  I’ve heard from friends who have sent their kids that they had a lot of fun.

If being outside is more your style, check out your local Audubon Society.  They offer a variety of activities from guided hikes to summer camps.  Last year, Einey went to their afterschool program once a week.  She really enjoyed learning about nature and   taking hikes.  They looked for frogs, found mice in the bird houses they were cleaning out for the end of winter and looked for salamanders in a stream.

If you can’t find anything through your local Rec. Department, check out your local zoos, aquariums or science centers.  They usually offer a wide variety of summer programs as well, from one day programs to week long summer camps.

So let’s recap, for us, it’s VBS, swim lessons, craft days and school summer camp.  While it may seem like we’re doing a lot, most of these are either only an hour or two a day, once or twice a week or at the end of June and beginning of July.  For most of the summer, it will be widely unscheduled.  The girls want to invade the Cape again this summer and Husband wants to travel to New York – something about exploring caves.  Right now, I don’t know where we’ll end up, except of course, at the playground* and lake.

Now, if I could just convince the local coffee shop to install a playground, we’d be all set!

*The new playground in town is super cool.  Today, we met some school friends (planned and unplanned) for three hours of fun.  This is, apparently, the popular place to be.  This particular playground opened Memorial Day weekend.  It’s a Boundless Playground for kids with and without handicaps.  It’s been four years in the making and was well worth the wait!  We’ve been a few times and at first, it seemed overwhelming.  There are so many more people there than we are used to.  Add into the fact that the play structure tripled in size blocks the line of sight you once had.  But it’s new.  And fun.  And there’s shade to rest in.

Will it ever be over?

Unlike most of the rest of the country, my kids are still in school. I know... it seems to last forever and yet it's never long enough! We've got one more week before they're out for the summer.

I'm of mixed emotions. I have to admit, I love tossing the alarm clock and knowing that I won't have to see 6:30 am again until September.  Sleep is very important to teenagers and for a couple of months they'll get enough to keep them on a fairly even keel. I hope.

I also love having them around much of the time. Despite what you might have heard, I like my kids and I enjoy their personalities and their wit. Most of the time. I like doing things together with them, I like when their friends come over and I can eavesdrop on conversations and find out what the heck is going on in their lives. I like when they come up with bizarre ways to entertain themselves.

However, they eat like starving grizzly bears, they are the messiest human beings on earth, and they tend to argue. A lot. It's never nice and peaceful for very long around here. My son tends to entertain his friends here more than he ever goes anywhere else. There will be 2 or 3 day marathons of video games, shouting, eating the shelves bare, and taking over my house. I think it's better that they are here than if they were unsupervised someplace else. But OMG, the noise, the mess!

My daughter leaves school and the second she is off the property, every single thing she has learned all year empties out of her head. I've never seen anything like it. It's as if she does this brain dump in the parking lot. As summer progresses she gets dumber and dumber. By the end of summer I'm ready to scream in frustration. I must say "THINK" about 3 million times a day. She totally loses the ability to think, read, or write come summer.

Summer is also the time when I become a professional chauffer for my kids. "Mom, take me here." "Mom, I need it NOW". This will be the last summer, because they'll finally turn 16 at the end of August and then the fun really begins.

Driving lessons.

Oh lord, kill me  now.

So maybe I shouldn't be so anxious for school to be over after all. I can't even imagine what kind of hell it will be once they learn to drive.

I Don't Know Why It Still Surprises Me.

Ever since Peanut was a toddler, we've used the phrase "developmental issues" to explain to strangers and acquaintances his odd and/or problematic behavior. To family and friends, he's just Peanut being Peanut, but every now and again some of the clothing-chewing, mouth-stuffing, spinning, rocking, bouncing, flapping behavior would come back and we might find ourselves at a party explaining, for the ease of understanding, that he was "mildly autistic."

As he has changed and developed, we started to understand much more clearly what his strengths and weaknesses were, and that meant we were pretty much expecting the PDD-NOS diagnosis we received this spring. Last week, we had an IEP meeting to discuss his transition from one school to another, from preschool to kindergarden. It went very, very well, and included some amazing news about a grant that will provide extra staffing.

It looks like he and a couple other children on IEPs will be grouped together in a regular kindergarden classroom. There will probably be 18 or so children in the class total, and some of the non-IEP children will be half-day students, so it will be an even smaller class in the afternoons. There will be the regular teacher and a part-time teacher's aide for the class, and thanks to the funding that came through, there will also be a specially trained full time co-teacher responsible for the 4 children on IEPs and a special education aide as well. 

This is what we wanted for Peanut's kindergarden year: a high teacher ratio, as much inclusion in the regular classroom as he can handle, a teacher or an aide with specialized behavioral training. They relied heavily on the independent evaluation we had done, and we spent a long time discussing ways to prepare him for the big changes next fall.

As we were wrapping up and going over everything, we came to the part that startled me. They brought up the fact that his current educational diagnosis, which was assigned to him as he entered preschool 2 years ago, fell into the "developmental delay" category. Given all the changes we have seen in him, as well as the clinical diagnosis of PDD-NOS, we all agreed that he should be re-classified as "autistic spectrum disorder."

No surprise, right? I mean, duh - we've been saying he's mildly autistic for years, we've received an official clinical diagnosis, and hello? He's autistic. Not profoundly autistic, not by a long shot, but definitely On The Spectrum.

Except it still startles me to hear that. Hard as it may be to believe, it catches me unaware. Who, me? I have an autistic child? Really? Are you sure? Because I don't think of him as autistic, obviously. I think of him as emotionally fragile, easily excited, smart as a whip.

It's weird, because unlike some parents I've talked to, I've never shied away from "labeling" him. It always seemed to me to be the best way to get the services that have helped him, and it's honestly one of those things I didn't think too much about. I just never felt like "The Mother Of An Autistic Child" before this IEP meeting.

I guess I was too busy being, you know, "Peanut's mom."
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(Originally posted at A Smeddling Kiss)

Let Go

That's a funny saying, isn't it? "Let go". It could mean a variety of things. Some good, some bad, some indifferent.

(A couple weeks ago), for me, "let go" was a very bad thing.

I was let go from my job. With a company I've worked for for 11 years. Purely budgetary reasons, I'm assured - nothing at all personal against my performance. I'm not the only one to go.

Still - it sucks.

I spent (that day) with Hubby, my mom, and Sweetie. I networked via email with friends, family and blogging/writing associates. I made the most of my day.

I'm glad I did, as it all helped me realize something very important.

I'm good. Hubby, Sweetie and I are all good. This is an opportunity. This is the kick in the butt I needed. Now I can get on with my life, pursuing the sort of career I truly feel passionately about.

I'm actually excited. I'm optimistic. I'm setting off on a brand new path - eager to realize my dream career. Writing, editing, educating - these are my passions. These are the areas I'm skilled in and the career path I'm eager to finally - confidently - plant my feet on and march on down. I can do these things. I've been doing them. Now's my chance to actually make a career out of them.

I'm good now. Soon, I will be great!

Oh, and one more thing. I'm going to make the most of this extra time with Sweetie before she heads off to kindergarten in the fall. This, right now, is the last bit of time when Hubby and I can really decide how she'll spend her days. This time with her is truly a gift.

Here's to the future. Here's to pursuing one's passions.

Here's to letting go.

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Reprinted from Sweetie & Me: Spina Bifida Moms.

Thirteen Going on Thirty

At thirteen, what did you want to be when you grew up?  Did you have a clue? 

I recall being in 8th grade and, while I was a good student, had no idea how my parents would afford to send me to college.   When our English teacher asked us to write an essay on what we'd be doing in ten years, I wrote that I would be a secretary.  I sure knew how to dream big, didn't I?

This past Sunday, the Boston Globe Magazine ran a piece , "Hurry Up, Grow Up", which discusses a growing trend for kids as young as 13 and 14 to decide on their future occupation.  Kids then enroll in a career-specific public high school that specializes in their field of choice.  (Apparently, parents are fed up with their offspring spending 3 years of college 'finding himself' only to ''discover' he wants to attend law school or get a graduate degree to stave off the need to find a paying job).

Florida passed a law in '96 requiring all students chose a 'major' during their first year in high school.  In total, seven states require a student chose a major.  In Massachusetts, this decision is being made by individual school districts and mostly occurs in urban areas.  In Greater Boston, students can attend Health Career Academy (founded in '95), Monument High School, with its focus on public safety, TechBoston Academy or Media Communications Technology High School.  Students are strongly encouraged to go on to college to complete their education.

I understand the purpose of these schools.  I agree that schools should teach children marketable skills and should show them how their education applies to their life.  But, I was struck by the first child interviewed, a freshman who once had had dreams of becoming an actress.  Those dreams were put aside to pursue a more practical route in healthcare.   

What I don't understand is what happens to the 15 year old who realizes, after arriving at the 'healthcare school', that she absolutely hates the medical field and wants nothing to do with it anymore. 

I'd hate to think that the choice someone makes at 13 is going to stick with them for life.  I'm sure glad that wasn't the case for me. 

Dear RMV,

I want to thank you for one of the more enlightening mornings of my life.

You see, I'd always been under the impression that in the course of studying for a driver's permit, one would want to focus on information pertaining to safe driving.

I can't thank you enough for relieving me of this gross misunderstanding. Why on earth would you be interested in knowing whether a new driver understands things like the three second rule, or when the road is most slippery, or who has the right of way at an intersection without lights? I understand now. These things are just not important.

Of course, it is important to know that when one sees a person with a white cane walking across the street that they are in all likelihood blind. This is a good bit of information to know. I never would have guessed. But I naively thought, going in to take a test for a driver's permit, that I would actually be answering questions on something relevant, such as, oh, I don't know, driving safely.

Instead, it seems it is in the best interest of a new driver to be aware instead of what precisely will happen to you if you do NOT drive safely. This is Massachusetts after all. Punishment and suffering is part of our Puritanical heritage. I'm so glad to see the RMV continuing this legacy in it's education of new drivers. And we can see by just looking at our local drivers how successful an education it is!

I will be sure to remind all my friends who are future drivers to be...in Massachussets...in Boston...do NOT study safe driving. Because when you sit down in front of that computer screen, 19 out of 20 questions will be about law. Specifically, the various and sundry punishments for the under 21 crowd out there. Not pahking the cah.

And I will remember, for that one non-law question you slide in there...that a person carrying a white cane crossing a sidewalk, is, in fact, blind.

Sincerely,
Rocks

I'm sharing this over at Rock the Cradle today as well. Just because I can.

What? How did this happen?

My son is exceptionally lazy. He's a smart kid, nice much of the time, but that child needs a firecracker lit under his ass to make him move.  He's just not lazy, he's slothlike. Getting him to perform is almost impossible without bribery and coercion. Not that I have a problem with bribery and coercion. When you are working with teenagers, you honestly have little choice but bribery or coercion.

This kid is a junior in high school and as far as I can remember, he has never ever done a lick of homework at home. He says he does it at school, but most of the time his report cards come with comments about how much work he's missing. Oh, he still gets decent grades because he's wicked smart, but he would do so much better if he ever made any attempt to do his homework. Since this is a battle we've been fighting since first grade, I long ago bowed out, determining that it was his responsibility to earn his own grades. Yeah, I'm the mean mom that never did the science projects.

Today his 3rd term report card arrived. I opened it up with my usual trepidation, knowing that it would both reflect his intelligence and his laziness. Imagine my shock when there wasn't one comment about missing homework. And even more shocking, all A's. The child has finally, in the third term of his junior year, figured out that his grades count.

I am a proud proud mother tonight. I know it took much longer than it should have, but he learned his lesson before he finished high school, which is about 4 years earlier than I learned this same lesson. With all A's for this and next term, his chances at colleges in the top tier vastly improve.

I wish I could promise each parent reading this who has a lazy kid that eventually your child will get it. I hope that for each and every one of you, I really do. But even if it takes much much longer than you ever thought it would, there is always hope. If MY kid can get it, believe me, any kid can!

The Education of Little Impling: Chapter 2

To be honest, this is more about my own education, or my recent episode of reality clobbering me upside the head. A while back I began what is ideally to become ongoing coverage of the Impling's education, such as it is. At the moment this is where we are:

The Impling is 3 and a couple months. She is counting, rhyming, memorizing lyrics faster than me (and yes, I am listening to Blue Moo and the soundtrack to Oklahoma 5 to 8 times a day as well), doing giant 100 piece floor pieces with a little help from the Mommy unit, drawing shapes, typing her name, and spouting her phone number to whomever will listen. She loves learning the names of the streets we walk in Brookline. And she LOVES her books. So far, so good.

She is not in preschool. She is, while absolutely fearless in some arenas (see below) also very wary (read terrified) of other children her own age. This tendency, plus our family's lack of money money money, led to the no-brainer conclusion that we would just skip preschool, thank-you-very-much. It turned out to be a very good call. Over the past months, she has in the course of visiting the Science Museum and the Brookline Library story hour become more comfortable with other children. I could see her terror downgrading to fear, then to mild discomfort. Finally, on a day I will never forget, she sat down by the storyteller with a group of about 6 other little girls (who were, truth be told, mostly 4 year olds) and listened raptly to frog stories. This past week, she sat down with a group of 13 little girls and boys, and had a blast. To say I was proud is a vast understatement.

So she is growing up. And here is my little episode of enlightenment:

For the first time, I've sent the Impling off on her "own". One of the classes (actually, the only class) I've enrolled the Impling in ever since she turned 6 months old, is swimming. I loved the water as a child, and I want the Impling to have a chance to learn to love it too. I've blathered on about this before, so I'll skip over my own idyllic learning-to-swim history.

With the Impling, I started off with the swimming lessons at the Brookline High School, then moved over to the BU Recreation Center when BHS closed down for renovations. We only just recently got back to the BHS for their open swim. Anyhow, after years of swimming with my little one, catching her as she launched herself like a rocket off the edge of the pool into the water, chanting "Motor boat, motor boat step on the gas!" and singing "Three little speckled frogs", I signed her up for Two's in Training. Our delay may (*ahem*) have been partially selfish. I love playing in the water with the Impling. I was sad to give it up.

It was, however, the right time. The first class, we were in the water with them as they got used to their two instructors. Last class, the parents stayed at the side of the pool in their bathing suits, and learned to trust the instructors. And who taught us that trust? The one and only Impling, of course.

"Three Little Speckled Frogs" for the uninitiated, is a jumping exercise. The toddlers stand on the edge of the pool, and wait for the magic words "One jumped into the pool" before leaping (or sliding, or vehemently refusing to leap) into the water. This is possibly the Impling's favorite song in class.

But that day, they each had to wait for their turn to jump. You know where this is going. The Impling bopped and sang along with the lyrics, and when the magic words came, launched herself in a beautiful arc into the water. Only, it wasn't her turn. And there was no one on the other end ready to catch her. I lunged forward, but as I called out her name the instructors already had her. She had bobbed up to the surface with a radiant face, and as the instructor brought her back to the edge of the pool, I laughed while my heart was still in my throat and my hair turned white and yelled "THAT WAS AWESOME!"

"Just wait until they're ready for you next time, OK?"

PLEASE.

Next week, we will be in street clothes on the side of the pool. Oh boy.

Crossposted at Rock the Cradle!

It's a Wonder-Full, Chipmunk-Filled Life

(Stay tuned at the bottom of this post for information on my wonderfully fun contest details!)

We just took Sweetie to The Boston Museum of Science this past weekend. For such a smart, curious, silly little girl, there was no greater place we could have taken her!

(While at the museum, Sweetie introduced herself to another mom and little girl, saying - My name is {Sweetie}. I'm really smart and a little curious. And extremely humble too, I might add. What's with this a little curious business? She's been saying that about herself for weeks! I mean, she is curious, but we've not made a habit of telling her she is at all.)

Anyway -

At the museum, Sweetie got electric...

And she boogie oogie oogied....

In fact, she had a fiercely good time with all the mirrors...

Then we viewed some wickedly deceptive artwork...

Before ending the day with a lighter activity - butterfly-making in the Discovery Center!

Yes, we all had a wonderful/wonder-filled day of learning, playing and laughing at the museum. Sweetie's already talking about our next trip there!

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And now for my All-Official-Actually-For-Real-Exciting-DVD-Give-Away Contest!!!

I have been given 3 copies of the brand new DVD Alvin and the Chipmunks. Sweetie actually got her own early copy from the Easter Bunny and has enjoyed both the wide screen and the full screen versions multiple times in the last week. But that's okay because this is one movie that's truly funny - entertaining parents and kids alike.

And now, I'm sharing with you! That's right - I have those 3 copies and I will give them away to 3 of my readers. Here's what you have to do:

If you'd like to be entered into my Alvin and the Chipmunks DVD Contest, please just leave a comment on this post. And if you'd like to tell me A) your most wonder-filled childhood memory, B) A wonder-full moment you experienced with your own child(ren), or C) your favorite Alvin and the Chipmunks related memory - well, that would be pretty dang awesome too.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to leave said comment on said post before the stroke of midnight (EST - or there abouts. I'm not that picky) on Friday, April 4th 2008. From those timely entrants, I will randomly choose 3 winners using a highly scientific names-from-a-hat method. I'll announce the winners in my next Sweetie Saturday post on April 5th.

That's it! May the best reader win!

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Cross-posted at Sweetie & Me - Spina Bifida Moms.