Girls, young women, ladies... all ya'll, listen up.
Do not take your clothes off for this man:
I cannot emphasize this enough.
Oh, that smiling face? It's one Joe Francis. In his mugshot.
You may not be familiar with the name Joe Francis, but you may be more inclined to recognize the name of his company, which has brought him the fame he enjoys - "Girls Gone Wild."
Yes, that is the face up there of the man for whom
intoxicated smashed idiotic dimwitted co-eds take off their clothes.
What do these fine young ladies get in return? A GGW t-shirt? More beer? Public humiliation? All of the above?
Is it worth it, girls?
Look, at this point in my life, there are three people in this world for whom I will take my clothes off.
My doctor (because I have to). My husband (I won't go there). And George Clooney (call me!).
But even when I was in my late teens/early twenties, I know I still made "showing skin" decisions based on what future repercussions would be.
Mr. Francis The Sleazeball had approached me on Spring Break or at a bar, dangling a carrot in front of me to lift my top on camera, you can bet your ass I would have responded with a big, fat "Step off!"
There have been nights that I haven't been able to get to sleep, so I've turned on the television to kill the time. There's not much to watch at 3 A.M. beyond Magic Bullet infomercials and "Girls Gone Wild" commercials. I've watched the Magic Bullet debacle enough times that shooting a bullet at the TV has crossed my mind, so I've had to move on to the GGW freak show.
All I can think when I'm watching it is, "What if someone who had just interviewed me for a job... or my next-door neighbor... or my mailman... or my brother(!) was watching this... and all of a sudden they saw me pop into the screen exposing my lady bits to the world?"
Mortifying thought. I cringe just thinking about it. And so I end up just getting mad at the half-wits who put themselves in these situations. Yes, the whole GGW idea is just gross. But these girls have to be held responsible for their decisions, too.
The reason that this is on my mind is because I recently read that
Mr. Francis The Sleazeball had approached Ashley Alexandra Dupre, former Governor Eliot Spitzer's favorite call girl, this genius:
... with a $1 million offer to take part in the 2008 GGW Spring Break tour. Gross enough, right?
But then the next day,
Mr. Francis The Sleazeball reneged on the offer because he had found 5-year-old video of Ms. Dupre in the GGW archives.
She had, in fact, spent a week aboard the GGW bus in Miami back in 2003. A week isn't a long time, but it was apparently enough for Ms. Dupre to get some nice girl-on-girl action and other naked escapades caught on tape.
I don't know who to be more disgusted with, the man with no morals, the girl with no self-respect, or the people who actually buy this crap (because someone is paying the $29.95 monthly subscription to the GGW website).
I don't see any end in sight to the glamorization of idiotic behavior. Because as I type this, I guarantee there is a GGW bus at some Spring Break location, filming away. And there are plenty of girls supplying the camera crew with the footage they're looking for.
But I'll tell you one thing, if you ever find me in a provocative position on film, you can bet your ass it would involve George Clooney.