New England Mamas

When the rain stops in for a few days

We have had a series of amazingly fun thunderstorms. Fun? Oh yes, we are big fans of the thunderstorm in my family. Especially when it's steaming hot outside and all of a sudden a front moves in, the sky starts to rumble (my son used to think it was God farting) and the lighting puts on a fabulous show. As soon as we hear the first of the thunder, we're likely to hightail it onto our front porch, which is screened in and overlooks the hill we live on right down to the street.

Across the big expanse of lawn we can see the first droplets hit the treetops, and then we count to see if we can guess exactly when the downpour will begin. Once it does, we move as close to the steps as we can, so we can stand right under the waterfall of rain from the porch roof without getting wet. The water falls in sheets there because our gutters, well they kinda suck. But that's OK because we LIKE the way the water falls.

As the rain pours down, the ground can't absorb the amount of water and puddles start to occur. First one right in front of the steps, and then as the rain continues, a river begins to take shape flowing down our driveway. We're on a big hill with a long drive that curves in the middle, and watching the river accumulate is like watching the Mississippi overflow it's banks in miniature. It's a wonderful lesson in erosion, too. The sides of the driveway start to crumble and little bits of the dirt wash away with each storm.

The lightening shows we get here are wonderful. The crack and boom of each forked bit of electricity makes the afternoon sky, all filled with gray clouds and dark ominous rain clouds light up like a county fairgrounds. When the lightening  first starts to light up the sky, we count the seconds until we hear the rumble of the thunder. This tells us how far away the storm is. As it gets closer we all get excited. The kids run from the back porch to the front porch to see which side of the house will get the first drops. Sometimes they'll stick their hands out from underneath the porch roof just to get wet.

If it's hot enough, I'll take my big golf umbrella and just walk out into the storm on our front lawn. It's a grand way to cool off if the storm is not actually overhead. I like to walk in the puddles barefoot and feel like I"ma little kid again.

The rain comes and goes all summer. Right now we've had a storm every day, and soon it will be hot and dry again. I'll miss the rain, but it will return for another viewing very soon. That's one of the great joys of living in New England.

What's a Rolling Rally, you ask?

The rest of the country hates us when it comes to sports. I think they're jealous. Let's fact it, New England has been just a tad bit dominant in American sports recently. Heh.

I think this photo says it all.

Yup, I was at the Celtics rally this morning. This makes my 3rd rally since 2004. It's too cold out for the Patriots. And I'm not really a football fan. I love my Boston Red Sox with all my heart, but I'm a pretty happy Celtics fan these days. It's been 22 years since the Celts last won the finals, and it's been a tough time to be a fan of the NBA in general. All those thugs, all that bad press. And Kobe. Ugh. So not a star.

However, if you think I'm going to miss a rally on such a gorgeous day, you just don't know me very well. I live for the rally. I love to scream as loud as I can and cheer on my teams. I love to see the players up close and personal.

In Boston we know how to do a rally right. We line up the duck boats and load them with players, their family and friends, and we intersperse confetti machines.

We pack the streets 30 to 50 people deep, all wearing the green.

We set off the confetti as the duckboats roll through.

Music is blasting,

People are hanging out their office windows.

The players are having the time of their lives.

They're smoking cigars in honor of Red Auerbach.

And holding up the MVP trophy.

The fans are going nuts!

Kevin Garnett is wearing 10 carats of diamonds in those ears. They're HUGE.

Doc Rivers looks so psyched

Paul Pierce is having a really good day.

Ray Allen looking good despite his baby son's recent juvenile diabetes diagnosis.

House and son.

Yeah, we know how to celebrate in this city. And evidentially, we know how to know how to play sports.

Now it's time to turn back to baseball. Go Red Sox!

Will it ever be over?

Unlike most of the rest of the country, my kids are still in school. I know... it seems to last forever and yet it's never long enough! We've got one more week before they're out for the summer.

I'm of mixed emotions. I have to admit, I love tossing the alarm clock and knowing that I won't have to see 6:30 am again until September.  Sleep is very important to teenagers and for a couple of months they'll get enough to keep them on a fairly even keel. I hope.

I also love having them around much of the time. Despite what you might have heard, I like my kids and I enjoy their personalities and their wit. Most of the time. I like doing things together with them, I like when their friends come over and I can eavesdrop on conversations and find out what the heck is going on in their lives. I like when they come up with bizarre ways to entertain themselves.

However, they eat like starving grizzly bears, they are the messiest human beings on earth, and they tend to argue. A lot. It's never nice and peaceful for very long around here. My son tends to entertain his friends here more than he ever goes anywhere else. There will be 2 or 3 day marathons of video games, shouting, eating the shelves bare, and taking over my house. I think it's better that they are here than if they were unsupervised someplace else. But OMG, the noise, the mess!

My daughter leaves school and the second she is off the property, every single thing she has learned all year empties out of her head. I've never seen anything like it. It's as if she does this brain dump in the parking lot. As summer progresses she gets dumber and dumber. By the end of summer I'm ready to scream in frustration. I must say "THINK" about 3 million times a day. She totally loses the ability to think, read, or write come summer.

Summer is also the time when I become a professional chauffer for my kids. "Mom, take me here." "Mom, I need it NOW". This will be the last summer, because they'll finally turn 16 at the end of August and then the fun really begins.

Driving lessons.

Oh lord, kill me  now.

So maybe I shouldn't be so anxious for school to be over after all. I can't even imagine what kind of hell it will be once they learn to drive.

Lets talk about gardening, shall we?

There are few people hardier than the New England gardener. Whether you grow vegetables, perennials, or just a few annuals, gardening here in the 6 New England states can be tantamount to an exercise in frustration.

We have poor soil. Ahem. Actually the soil is really rich and dark. Unfortunately, it's not overly abundant. What we do have in abundance are rocks. We're very lucky to have plenty of rocks. Granite, after all, is a New England resource.

We have cold weather. Most people want to get the garden in May 1st. In reality, most people can't get the entire garden in until June 1st. It rains a lot in May, and it seems that it rains on weekends  when we have more time to garden than any other days of the week.

We have really  hot weather in June. New England isn't known for it's gorgeous spring. Mostly because we really don't have spring. We have mud season. It goes from freezing cold to rainy and cold to hella hot. So gardening means working very early in the morning or in the late afternoon. The two times I have the least amount of energy possible.

We have a ridiculously short growing season. In North Carolina you can put in a bunch of tomatoes in February and watch them keep producing until December. That's a lot of tomatoes. But here in New England, that's just a pipe dream. We plant in June, in August we get tomatoes, by October the plants have been killed by frost. It's quite the ego bust to think you're going to get enough tomatoes to make pots of sauce. We all need greenhouses!

But even with the weather, the short growing season, and the crappy soil New Englanders take to gardening like a moth to a flame. I've been gardening for years, and the only place I've ever been successful is in New England. I don't know how to garden in clay soil or where it's hot for 8 months out of the year. I'm not used to the bugs that the midwest offers. Or the snakes in Florida.

I grow what is called a salad garden, consisting of lettuce, tomatoes, cukes, zucchini, yellow peppers, and a lot of herbs. I love fresh herbs and believe that herbs make a huge amount of difference in my cooking.

I also put pots of petunias and zinneas and other annuals around the patio. But my greatest love is my perennial garden. Every year I am suckered in to buying even more perennials. It's not that I don't have the room, because everyone should be as lucky as I am for large plots of sunny land. I could put in an acre of perennials if I wanted to. It's that perennials are expensive and you get no return for your investment other than flowers and beauty. I know that these are important, and nothing pleases me more than when the garden is in bloom, but it's hard to justify paying a lot of money for a flowering shrub when you could be spending that money on vegetable plants.

But I'm never going to stop buying and growing perennials because I'm an addict. I admit it. My name is Margalit and I'm a perennial addict. There! I've admitted it.

Now it's your turn. What does your garden grow?

It's Apartment Sale Season

One of the best things about living in the Boston area this time of year is that so many of the graduate students return to their native lands (like New Jersey!) and sell off all their stuff. They don't want to move it, so they either have apartment or yard sales, and the bargains are unreal. I look forward to this time of year mostly to replenish my supplies of kitchen tools and appliances, and to upgrade my furniture. But sometimes I just plain luck out and find something I've always wanted/needed but never had the money to spend for sale at a 10th the actual retail price!

The graduate students from Harvard and MIT appear to be the ones that have the best deals. Especially if they are foreign students returning to their home countries. They want to get rid of everything. Because it's late spring, nobody really needs their winter stuff, so snowboards and skis are often free for the asking. It's how we got three pairs of good ski in great condition absolutely free! Winter clothing is also priced to move. An LL Bean down jacket for $5 isn't out of the ordinary!

Furniture is also best bought right about now. I find bookshelves to be the cheapest, and because I'm one of those readers that can't seem to get rid of hardback books, my need for a large bookshelf every year isn't out of the question. Last year we got a wall-sized bookshelf AND a matching desk for $45. Now I'm in the market for yet another bookshelf.  Desks and chairs are a hot commodity, as are futon sofas. So many grad students buy futon sofas thinking they're a great investment, but actually they're hard to get rid of, so they go for a song. I think they're great in a playroom basement, or for a guest room, but in a living room, they're just not that comfy.

Rugs are also available for a lot less than you would pay in any store. Even Ikea. I got a real Afghanistani rug from a woman returning to Kabul for $25 that a rug deal would sell for several hundred. Sometimes people throw in a rug if you're buying a big piece of furniture. They just want to get the stuff out of their apartments.

If you're in the market for porch furniture, papasan chairs are a dime a dozen. I think they must be a requirement in graduate student housing because everyone is selling them. Televisions are also going for a song this year, especially since most aren't HDTV and won't be worth much come next year anyhow.

Living so close to so many universities does have its downside. Traffic, rowdy neighbors, lots of bars, etc. But when it's June and the students flee the city, the sales they hold to get rid of everything they own.... just fabulous!

Gay Marriage in New England

As of today, Massachusetts is no longer the only state to allow the legal marriage of same sex partners. California's Supreme Court just struck down a ban on gay marriages, making it the second state in the union to allow same sex marriages. Tiny Massachusetts has allowed gay marriages for a few years now, and funny thing.... nothing in the state has really changed. Most couples that marry here in MA are your regular bride and groom couples. But not all. For that most of the state is thankful. But not all. There are always going to be people that speak of same sex marriages as an abomination, against the bible, and will fight to strike down the law. Thankfully, they remain in the minority. 

What interests me about our New England area is that every state save Rhode Island allows some sort of domestic partnerships. Same-sex marriage is recognized only in Massachusetts, but four states -- Vermont, New Jersey, Connecticut and New Hampshire -- have civil unions. California has been one of five states -- along with Hawaii, Maine, Washington and Oregon -- with domestic partnership or reciprocal benefits laws that provide some marriage-like rights to same-sex couples. Now, of course, California joins Massachusetts in providing full legal rights to same sex couples.

What is about New England that makes us so much more accepting of same sex unions? It isn't that we're more liberal. I think anyone who has set foot in New Hampshire realizes that it isn't the most liberal state in the union by any means. It has nothing to do with the weather, right? So what is it that makes our little corner of the country welcome same sex couples?

I love that my city in MA has performed almost 300 same sex marriages since the law changed in 2004. These are all families living in our small city, sending their kids to our schools, and voting in our town elections. They are our neighbors, our friends, our classmates, and our fellow congregants. We live in harmony, we see no differences between these families and another other family. In the almost 4 years since MA has legalized gay marriage, nothing untoward has happened. We haven't legalized bestiality, incest, or any other of the horrors predicted by opponents of this law. In fact, life has gone on and same sex marriages barely ever even pass our minds. It's just another fact of life here in MA. I would dare to say that this is the same in other parts of New England, were domestic partnership has removed so many of the fears and worries of gay families, especially with regards to medical proxies and legal decisions.

So congratulations to California. And hopefully the rest of the country will eventually follow suit.

Local politics are better than television around here

It's been quite a week here in our fair city. I don't even think I can capture the insanity of it all, but I'll try to give you a bit of a peek into what happens when an entire city divides over money. You know, the root of all evil? Money, where some of the people have way more than enough, and some of the people have a lot less than they need. Money, which divides our city geographically, with the North being the less well endowed (monetarily, at least) and the South being where much of the Big Money resides. But not all of it. It's all an impression, anyhow.

So let's see what's been happening this week.

First, we have an override campaign in full swing. What's an override campaign? Oh goodness me, it goes way back to the 1980's when a certain bitch from Marblehead decided that she paid too much in state taxes and brought forth a law called Proposition 2.5, very similar to California's Proposition 13. The law states that the cities and towns cannot raise property taxes by more than 2.5% per year without an override vote. This vote means the entire town has to come out to approve any tax increase over the 2.5% raise per year. Since inflation alone gobbles up more than the 2.5% per year, cities and towns in MA have been slowly but surely cutting services they can no longer afford. Services for veterans, children, the handicapped, the poor, the elderly, the roads, the buildings, the entire state infrastructure. You name it, we can no longer afford it.

In our city the fire stations and falling apart. They are in horrid disrepair. Plus the firefighters are at war with the Mayor over a stupid mayoral policy about sick days, and so the Mayor has effectively reduced the fire department to an unsafe size. We've gotten rid of a lot of the po-po (no great loss as far as I'm concerned), our bridges are falling down, our school buildings are in such serious need of repair that we are in trouble with state inspectors. Our city hall itself is in pretty poor shape with a leaky roof and peeling plaster.

Needless to say, our city desperately needs an override. The money the Mayor is asking for, $12 million, is designated mostly for upgrading the schools. They need it, everyone in the city agrees that some schools are literally bursting at the seams from overcrowding while the school bathrooms are falling apart, the ceilings contain asbestos and lord only knows what else, and the roofs are leaking. We need to repair these buildings.

BUT... the city, in it's ultimate bizarro decision, also voted to rebuild one of our two high schools. Not only did they decide to rebuild, they hired architect Graham Gund,  a famous residential/commercial architect who has never designed a school building. Yes, his buildings are gorgeous. No argument here. But he designed a building for our new high school that is literally an homage to a VERY unpopular Mayor, with glass walls and a big zig zag design that will be very difficult to heat and air-condition. A design many people (myself included) thought was way over the top and way too expensive.

The city was so divided over the rebuilding of the high school that we held a vote just a year ago, and the people (not me) voted to use Gund's site plan and design. Sigh. So we're building the most expensive high school in Massachusetts at a whopping $197 million, but not by ANY means the most expensive high school in the country, despite what claims are made by the folks against any tax override/hike.

OK, with me so far?

So we have two sides, the people that are rabid Mayor haters and see a conspiracy behind every door. And the rest of us, who aren't happy with the Mayor but believe that improvements to the city's infrastructure are desperately needed.

Back to the override campaign. Again, the city is divided. The No voters, the people who would rather pull out their own teeth rather than to pay one more cent in taxes, are totally up in arms about allowing the Mayor another $12 million to "mismanage." The Yes voters believe that the Board of Alderman (BOA) along with the Mayor will use this money to fix the damn schools and fire stations.

Meanwhile, the city is getting major bad press in the Globe and the Herald and the whole state is laughing at us because we're seen as this richy-rich suburb that doesn't want to fix anything, while the Mayor is being portrayed as a total buffoon. Pretty accurately, IMO.

This week, the Mayor, in what can be seen as the worst case of bad timing ever, decides that he's going to increase his salary along with the salaries of many other city employees. OMG, you cannot believe the fallout. This got NATIONAL attention. Now there is background to this. In 2005 the Mayor was granted a salary increase by the BOA, which he declined. And declined again every year. He's only paid $87K to manage over 3000 employees in a city of ~90K residents. He's not only not near the top of the highest paid city employees, he's really poorly paid compared to other Mayors in comparable towns. So he decided that he would take the increase this week.

And the shit hit the fan!

Now, in all fairness to our Mayor, I believe that he should be making more. And the deal is, his pension is based upon the last three years of employment, so raising his salary for the last 2 years of his gig makes total sense for his pension protection.

But try and tell that the the malcontents.

Then they Mayor backed down and said he would NOT take the pay raise.

Hysteria ensued.

The local paper challenged the Mayor to say he would not run for another term (he has a year left) in order to get the override passed.

Then we all sat and waited.

State employees also asked the Mayor to step aside. As did members of the BOA.

This morning the Mayor held a press conference and said that he would not run for re-election.

Following this statement, the malcontents started on the city blog, saying that it was a 'trick' and that voting No on the override is the only way to get a message through to the Mayor. They don't seen to understand that we're not talking about the Mayor suffering, we're talking about the city workers, the children in schools, the firefighters.

Yes, it has been a very busy week in town. Every citizen I know is talking about our local politics much more than the national election. It's been so exciting and crazy here, we just about forgot there even IS a national election. We're all for Obama anyhow! Except the malcontents. They're Republicans. What a shock, eh?

Why school vacations suck for parents

Once again, it's school vacation time. Yes, we just DID have a vacation about 6 weeks ago, but you know our poor little children are so stressed out by the terrible big bad school that we need yet another week off. That would be a week in late December, then another one in mid-February, and this one in mid-April. Gack!

The problem isn't that the kids are home. In fact, most of the time I like them home a lot more than I like them in school. The problem is, school vacations are really dangerous territory for teenagers staying around town. Like mine. They get into all sorts of trouble, and the trouble almost always revolves around alcohol, drugs, sex, and lying to their parents. My kids... oh, they're pretty much familiar with all those bad things these days. Just like all the other teens are.

This vacation my daughter didn't even get one day off before she ended up grounded. She invited a friend over. A friend she is NOT allowed to hang out with. A friend who has very sticky fingers and a much to familiar view of our upstairs medicine cabinet, if you get my drift. So my daughter had her freakout and now spends the day drooping around the house crying about how B.O.R.E.D. she is. Awwww. So sad. Too bad.

My son has been hanging out with his friends, but while he was out this evening I found an empty rum bottle in his room. He's grounded forever. I'm furious. He tried hard to blame it on his sister, the one that doesn't drink alcohol. Um, not working. So off to bed he went, screaming at my evident inability to be a good parent. Oh, my feelings are HURT!  I may  never get over it!

Of course, just who is it who is really punished by this school vacation. Yes, it's me. The parent. The one with two grounded kids. Again.

And if anyone even reminds me that summer's coming, I'm gonna scream!

The post where I complain about life

You would think that I would have nothing to complain about. The weather is finally spectacular, the bulbs are up and smiling prettily at all who walk by, the shrubs that were seemingly dead all winter have come alive with flowers, and even the trees are showing signs of life once again.

Yeah, you would think so. But no... I'm going to complain about the pollen. Because the prettier it is outside, the more miserable my entire family is. We have allergies. Allergies to pollen. Especially tree pollen. We all look like we've been smoking blunts all day. Our eyes are swollen and red. They itch like crazy. Our faces are slightly swollen, too. We sound like we all have sore throats. Oh, that's because we DO have sore throats. Worst of all, we're all exhausted. For some sick reason, the allergies drain every ounce of strength out of our bodies.

My kids, usually serious night owls, are taking naps and going to bed by 10. No matter how much sleep they get, they're wiped. I'm even worse. I can't seem to wake up out of my stupor. I mean it, my sofa and I have become one. The only time I can ever remember being this exhausted was during my twin pregnancy. At least then I had two parasites sucking the life force out of me. Now, I just have mean old trees attacking my very reason for being.

Plus, if the exhaustion and the itchy eyes aren't enough, my children, they are horrible. They're rarely pleasant on a good day. They're teenagers. They're supposed to be horrid. But my God, my daughter is getting on my very last nerve. Because I have the unmitigated gall to ask her to help in the kitchen. I KNOW! What kind of a bitch am I? What is WRONG with me?

Last night I asked her to make the chicken soup for our Passover seder. Making chicken soup isn't hard. In fact, it's so easy it's ridiculous. This is how it went:

M: First you get the chicken and put it in the sink.
G: You mean I have to touch it?
M: Um, yes. Yes you do.
G: Gross! I'm not touching that.
(Stomps off to get something and comes back with cleaning lady's disposable gloves. Brings chicken to the sink)
M: Now take the wrapper off and rinse the chicken.
G: I have to TOUCH IT? With my hands? No way.
M: Oh, shut up and do it.
G: grumble grumble under her breath grumble
M: Put the chicken in the pot and fill it with water until it covers the chicken and then an inch over.
G: How much water?
M: I just told you.
G: I wasn't listening.
(repeats instructions)
M: Now go into the fridge and get out the carrots you peeled this morning and the celery. Oh, and one of the big onions.
G: grumble grumble  I can't find the celery.
M: It's in the fridge,  I just used some this morning.
G: It's ROTTEN.
M: No it isn't. It just has one brown stalk. Throw it away and the rest is fine.
G: I'm not touching that. It's ROTTEN, it's gross.
M: It is NOT rotten, take it out of the fridge.
G: No, I'm not touching it.
M: I'm really  losing my temper. Just take it out of the fridge.
(Still wearing gloves, she picks it up with her pincer grab and makes all sorts of gross noises like she's dying, but eventually gets good stalks to cut up.)
M: Now put the onion, celery and carrots in the pot.
G: I have to CUT UP THE ONION?
M: (Weary voice) YES, you have to cut the onion or it won't fit in the pot.
G: But I'll cry.
M: You're gonna cry if I have to get up and do it for you.
(She cuts onion and puts it in the pot)
G: Now what?
M: Get the parsley and the dill out of the fridge.
G: I don't know what dill looks like.
M: For God's sake, it's in the same bag as the parsley.
G: It's a plant. I hate plants.
M: Put 1/2 of each bunch in the soup pot and SHUT UP.
M: Now add some salt and pepper.
G: How much salt and pepper.
M: Like a teaspoon of salt and a bit less of pepper.
G: OK, now what?
M: turn on the burner to high, let it boil, and then turn it down to low to cook.
G: You mean I have to stay here and watch it?
M: YES YOU DO.
G: I'm marrying someone that knows how to cook because I'm not doing it. I hate cooking. 

By the time we were through that exercise I was exhausted and ticked off. Honestly, why make something so difficult? But that's my girl.

Have a happy and sweet Passover to those that celebrate!

What? How did this happen?

My son is exceptionally lazy. He's a smart kid, nice much of the time, but that child needs a firecracker lit under his ass to make him move.  He's just not lazy, he's slothlike. Getting him to perform is almost impossible without bribery and coercion. Not that I have a problem with bribery and coercion. When you are working with teenagers, you honestly have little choice but bribery or coercion.

This kid is a junior in high school and as far as I can remember, he has never ever done a lick of homework at home. He says he does it at school, but most of the time his report cards come with comments about how much work he's missing. Oh, he still gets decent grades because he's wicked smart, but he would do so much better if he ever made any attempt to do his homework. Since this is a battle we've been fighting since first grade, I long ago bowed out, determining that it was his responsibility to earn his own grades. Yeah, I'm the mean mom that never did the science projects.

Today his 3rd term report card arrived. I opened it up with my usual trepidation, knowing that it would both reflect his intelligence and his laziness. Imagine my shock when there wasn't one comment about missing homework. And even more shocking, all A's. The child has finally, in the third term of his junior year, figured out that his grades count.

I am a proud proud mother tonight. I know it took much longer than it should have, but he learned his lesson before he finished high school, which is about 4 years earlier than I learned this same lesson. With all A's for this and next term, his chances at colleges in the top tier vastly improve.

I wish I could promise each parent reading this who has a lazy kid that eventually your child will get it. I hope that for each and every one of you, I really do. But even if it takes much much longer than you ever thought it would, there is always hope. If MY kid can get it, believe me, any kid can!