No small talk in the big city

Call me antisocial, but one of the things I love about living where I live is that I don't know many people.

Well, let me clarify a bit. What I mean is that I don't often get caught in the we're-forced-to-catch-up small talk trap (I loathe this) in the city in which I now live, as I didn't grow up here and therefore don't see someone I know every time I leave the house.

True, I only live about 25 minutes from the town in which I grew up - in our country's smallest state, no less. But for whatever reason, I can go out and about in my city and not see anyone I know most of the time.

For a brief time after college I lived in an apartment in my hometown, which is filled with keeping-up-with-the-Joneses types. I couldn't go to the gym, the supermarket, the Newport Creamery (an ice cream chain in RI) or even the library without running into the mother/father/sister/brother/aunt of someone with whom I had grown up.

We would go through the obligatory, "How's so-and-so?" "What's so-and-so up to now?" "Tell so-and-so I say hi" routine.

And I would walk away armed with the knowledge that so-and-so was just fabulous, that so-and-so was at the top of her class in medical school and that so-and-so's mother/father/sister/brother/aunt would certainly send so-and-so my regards when they next spoke.

So you can see why it's nice to feel semi-anonymous in my new city.

However, when I do see someone I know, since I was taught proper manners, of course I say hello and engage in polite small talk (as loathsome as it may be).

And there is a guy I went to school with who works at the supermarket in my city. I have seen him many times at the market, and I know he has seen me, but whenever I try to make eye contact to say hello, he totally ignores me.

We really didn't travel in the same circles in high school. We were in the same homeroom, but we never had any classes together... and I doubt we ever had a real conversation. But we were in school together since the 4th grade. We were aware of each other.

Yes, school ended 10 years ago. And I don't flatter myself by thinking I am at the forefront of his mind all the time. But the blatant ignoring thing was starting to get on my nerves.

So today when I entered the market and saw him directly in front of me in the produce section, I made a point to go over and say hello.

There was no escaping me, so he was kind of forced to smile and say hello back.

You already know I hate small talk, so I didn't get into that. He was probably relieved.

All I wanted was my due hello. And now I can go back to being semi-anonymous.

- Jane

Comments

[Fairly Odd Mother]

I especially like to be anonymous on those days when I haven't had time for a shower!

I wonder if maybe that guy from school is embarrassed by his job? I remember when I had to take a 2nd job at BJ's after college (my 'career' paid nothing) and I always prayed that I wouldn't see anyone I knew from college b/c I had the lowest of low jobs at BJ's.

[Mrs. Chicky]

My anti-social nature loves living in a town where hardly anyone knows me (yet). However, sometimes I miss living in my small hometown where everyone knows everyone else's business. There felt like more of a connection there.