I do not enjoy baking. I have no intuition for it and I can't grasp the science. I laugh a little too hard when comedian Ron White makes his joke about the smoke alarm not being a timer.
My oven now exudes noxious pumpkin fumes because I placed a store-brought pie crust on a baking sheet instead of in a pie tin. When the oven hit 350 degrees, the frozen crust went shapeless and took its contents with it as it slithered over the edge of the sheet. I was so distraught that I forgot to clean up the spill. "Cooking is so stressful," I moaned, falling in a heap onto our living room chair much as the pie had taken to the oven floor. With my limbs splayed loosely atop the microsuede to counteract my inner tension, my head lolled back as I directed my lament to the ceiling: "I'm strung as tight as a drum! Do you hear me? As tight as a drum!"
The next day (would you have thought I'd learned my lesson?) I threw in a load of Funfetti cookies. So simple. So tasty. So I thought. The kitchen quickly filled with smoke as the remains of my pumpkin pie changed form. The air was thick. My husband was incredulous.
"You didn't scrape out the oven before you used it again?" he demanded.
"No, I didn't. Is that so hard to believe?"
The cookies somehow made it through unscathed, baking for their allotted eight minutes on the middle rack, high above the carnage. In fact, they were so good I ate most of the two dozen by myself instead of packing them up for the cookie swap I was to attend the next day. Then, feeling sick from the sugar coursing through my veins (not to mention from smoke inhalation), I vowed never to make them again.
It works out fine, really. My lack of kitchen prowess just might be the best thing that ever happened to my lack of will power.
FUNFETTI COOKIES
| 1 | (18.9-oz.) pkg. Pillsbury® Moist Supreme® Funfetti® Cake Mix |
| 1/3 | cup oil |
| 2 | eggs |
| 1/2 | (15.6-oz.) can Pillsbury® Creamy Supreme® Funfetti® Vanilla Frosting |
| 1. | Heat oven to 375°F. In large bowl, combine cake mix, oil and eggs; stir with spoon until thoroughly moistened. Shape dough into 1-inch balls; place 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheets. With bottom of glass dipped in flour, flatten to 1/4-inch thickness. |
| 2. | Bake at 375°F. for 6 to 8 minutes or until edges are light golden brown. Cool 1 minute; remove from cookie sheets. |
| 3. | Spread frosting over warm cookies. Immediately sprinkle each with candy bits from frosting. Let frosting set before storing. Store in tightly covered container. |
| High Altitude (3500-6500 ft) Add 1/2 cup flour to dry cake mix. Bake as directed above. | |
*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet.
Those cookies sound yummy. I'll have to try them. The pumpkin pie? Not so much. But I admire you for trying!
Posted by: Mrs. Chicky | December 04, 2007 at 02:33 PM
I remember the last cookie swap we went to - and somehow you had managed to make something then as well. The funfetti cookies sound delicious!
As for cookies - crap. I need to make like 5 dozen sugar cookies by Friday. Somehow I told the girls they could have a cookie decorating party at the house on Friday. Why do I do this to myself.
Posted by: margaret | December 04, 2007 at 03:02 PM
I believe anyone making simple mistakes in your condition is automatically given a pass. The term is, "Pregnancy brain." :D
Posted by: Boz | December 04, 2007 at 03:07 PM
OMG, that is funny about the pumpkin pie on a cookie sheet. Well, I suppose you only do that once and then you know, right? I've had many cooking mishaps and set off far too many smoke detectors as well.
Posted by: Fairly Odd Mother | December 04, 2007 at 04:53 PM
Too funny!!! I agree that it could be blamed on Pregnancy Brain. :)
Posted by: Jordan | December 05, 2007 at 11:19 AM
I love to bake so I'm well. . .um. . .what can I say, definitely prego brain.
Posted by: Donna | December 05, 2007 at 09:28 PM