The other evening while my husband was getting dressed for a formal dinner, I was reminded why I gave him the (affectionate) nickname of Mr. Routine a while back.
Steve needs things to be, well... routine. He doesn’t like his day to go all willy-nilly on him.
He likes to have his plans laid out in advance, especially during the week.
So you can imagine how preparing for this dinner threw a little major monkey wrench into his daily routine.
As I worked on the computer in our office, I heard him call to me from the bedroom, “Well, that’s it - I’m not going!”
After five years together - three as a married couple - I have learned how to respond calmly and rationally when he calls out his panic squad.
“What’s the matter?” I asked, barely taking my eyes off the computer screen.
“I have no shirts that fit! They’re either too big or too small.”
(No, he’s not Goldilocks, and yes, this is just the type of incident that would call out the panic squad).
Me (still typing away on the computer): “Wear the shirt you wore to that wedding a few weeks ago. It looked great!”
Steve (because rational doesn’t work in these situations): “The sleeves are way too short. I can’t find anything. And now I’m going to be late. I’m just not going.”
This is when I slowly get up from the computer, point out that he has plenty of time to get there, and gently guide him to a shirt that’s not too big, not too small… but just right.
Of course he went to the dinner. Of course he got there on time. Of course he had a great night.
But to know Steve, you have to understand his need for regimentation.
As my nature is pretty much the exact opposite, we have learned to balance each other out over the years.
Steve does not need an alarm clock. His body is naturally set to wake up promptly at 5:30 AM.
And he doesn’t lie in bed, fighting to stay awake. He is awake and up - as in walking around - at 5:30.
I, on the other hand, need to place my alarm clock far enough away that I must physically get myself out of bed to shut it off.
And even then, I still manage to crawl into bed and fall back asleep some days.
I tend to have an “ish” view of time. As in, “I’ll be there at 2:30-ish.” This could mean 2:30, 2:40 or 3:00 (although I am good about calling when I’m running late).
Steve does not like to be late. He knows the exact time we need to leave our house in order to get to our destination exactly on time.
If I’m taking too long getting ready for an event, he will be hovering over me or pacing back and forth saying, “We’re going to be so late.”
(And no, he’s not the Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. Wait, what does it say about my husband that he is so similar to fairytale characters, I have to point out that he is not, in fact, said character!?)
The minute he gets home from school every day (he’s a teacher), Steve must - before he does anything else - prepare and pack his lunch for the next day.
If it’s Friday, he makes his lunch for Monday.
I, on the other hand, usually decide what I’m having for lunch about 4 minutes before I eat.
If I have to prepare a lunch in advance, forget it - I’m just running around the kitchen grabbing random food items as I’m leaving the house.
And finally, I am so happy that Steve has completed his Graduate studies. Not only because I am proud of him, but because it means I do not have to edit any more papers!
It’s not that I minded editing them… it’s just that he would keep nagging reminding me that he needed my editing services every time he’d finish a paper.
He’d leave papers on my handbag so I’d remember. He’d leave them on my desk chair. On my pillow.
When I’d finally ask him when they were due, he’d give me some date like 4 weeks away!
When I was in college, I can’t tell you how many all-nighters I pulled, using every last minute out of the day and night to complete a paper.
This type of behavior is unheard of for Steve.
I love my husband so much. He is funny, smart, kind, caring and loving. He’s a fantastic husband and an incredible Daddy to our pups.
Although I will admit that his need for routine drive me nuts sometimes!
But at least I can’t compare him to the Beast from Beauty and the Beast. Not as of yet, anyway.
- Jane
We're the opposite way around, I'm the clock watcher and he's the one I nag.
Cheers
Posted by: Maddy | February 01, 2008 at 07:45 PM
Opposites attract! I think my husband and I are quite a bit like you two.
Posted by: Fairly Odd Mother | February 01, 2008 at 09:31 PM