A tale of two cribs

I haven't posted here in quite some time, mostly because like everyone else, I have quite a bit going on off-line, not the least of which is managing being 31 weeks pregnant, selling our house, buying a new house, and moving to a new town. 

 Things are going to ramp up significantly over the next few weeks, because we are moving the week after next.  THE WEEK AFTER NEXT GOD HELP ME. 

Anyway, my grand plan for the move was to set up my daughter Charlotte's brand new, super adorable toddler bed that my parents bought her this past Christmas. Oh man, is it cute. I had envisioned her beautiful new room in the new house with her cute new rug, little curtains, toy box and toddler bed. I am re-using her nursery stuff - it's still in perfect condition - only two years old - and it matches her new room - but my point is, I just pictured her new room looking so cute and so, well, big-girl.

The only thing is, I don't think this girl is quite so big.  And so I've decided to keep her in her crib.  Here's why.

Charlotte's turning 2 in a few weeks, but while my big-little-girl is so precocious in so many ways, she is still very much a baby. To me, anyway. But one way in particular - she loves her crib. LOVES it. I mean, she LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVES it. When she wakes up in the morning, or from naps, she never cries. She rolls around, sings, practices talking, plays with her "babies" and curls up with her blankets. I just don't think she's ready for the transition to a big-girl bed. I feel like moving to a new house and then becoming a big sister mere weeks later AND losing her beloved crib might be a little too much for a very special two year old to handle. Charlotte understands a lot, but the concepts of a. moving, b. becoming a big sister, and c. big girl bed are completely lost on her. She just doesn't get it and to be honest, I don't want to force her to get it.

Also selfishly? I am 31 weeks pregnant and so sometimes, I am tired. And as such, preparing to welcome a newborn into the house. Selfishly, I want Charlotte to stay on her beautiful 12 hour a night sleep schedule and nap 2 hours every afternoon. Selfishly, perhaps I am the one less ready for the transition than Charlotte is. However, like my mother said last night, perhaps it is less "selfish" and more "self preservation."  You see, my husband travels extensively for work - just about weekly, for days at a time, and he is just not home every night to help. It would be wonderful if he was, but he's not. And that is fine. It works for us and I have no complaints, but until I know I can haul myself off the floor next to the big girl bed without adult assistance, I think the transition is going to have to wait.

I may be underestimating her - because I certainly have underestimated her adaptability and ability to transition in the past. We've gone on several vacations where prior to making the actual trip, I wrung my hands for weeks - WEEKS - worrying about how she'd react, nap, sleep - and every single time she proved me totally wrong and was perfectly fine.

This time, though, I think I'm making the right call. So I will be making a trip down to Ikea to buy a crib for the new kid. Charlotte's crib at the Cape is from Ikea and I love it, so I think I'm going to get an identical one for the new baby. If it turns out to be a big piece of crap, well, she'll sleep on a nice mattress in a big piece of crap until her big sister IS ready for the big girl bed.

I am so interested to hear what other mothers have done to transition your kids from crib to bed, especially as you welcomed new babies into your home.   I'm all ears.

Comments

[annette]

If she loves it let I'd her keep it awhile. It should help with all the transitions immensely. My son loved his crib just like your daughter does. We moved when he was two and his crib was familiar and beloved and made him feel better about his new room. I admit I let him stay in it until he was almost three. When he told me he was ready for a "big boy bed", I let him pick out his new sheets and comforter himself. I like think that helped - or I just got lucky - because he loved his toddler bed as much as the crib. Good luck!

[sandyshoes]

I would let Charlotte stay in her crib just as long as she will (and isn't climbing out of it). It will mean many, many fewer hassles for you with the new baby. You want her to be feeling verrrry secure in her little world when the new sibling comes along to turn everything upside down. Even if she is ready for a bed, she might resent "giving" the crib to the little one.

My girls are 20 months apart. When Peanut arrived, Bean was nowhere near ready to give up the crib. No way was I buying another one. So Peanut slept with me for a few months (breastfeeding overnight just worked best that way for us, maximizing sleep for everyone), then when she was ready for her own space but Bean still wasn't ready to move up to a bed, we had her sleep in a Pack & Play. I figured that would be fine for a couple months. It ended up being almost a year! We did reinforce the bottom. And you know... she was perfectly happy, never knew the difference, and there was never a problem getting to sleep when we traveled, 'cause the P&P was normal for her. So what started out with us just being cheap and not wanting to shell out for another crib ended up working out really well.

[Adena]

I agree with the others, no rush to get her out of the crib. My son started climbing out of his at about 2-1/2, so we have to transition to the toddler bed, but if she's showing no signs of doing that, I'd say, keep things as they are. Good luck w/all your other transitions!

[Kate]

My kids both pushed to get out of their cribs around age 2, and I followed their lead... but if one had wanted to stay longer, fine by me.

As for the other transitions, my kids are 4 1/2 years apart - so the issues were different than for a 2-year split. I've always been a little skeptical of the philosophy that says to tell the older kid they'll be your helper, they'll do so much for the baby, etc - between an aunt whom everyone believed was retarded for her first 4 years because she had 3 older siblings "doing for" and an eldest child who was already naturally bossy, I didn't want to encourage any extra focus on the baby. I took more of a tack of, "You're you and he's he, and you can do totally different things." She's still bossy.

[Erin]

Thanks so much for the words of encouragement and advice! I know what's probably going to happen...we'll move, I'll buy a new crib, and within weeks she'll be pushing to get out of the crib!

But. Maybe not - and I think following her lead on this one and easing the transition in the one way possible that I can is going to work out. Thanks again!

[Emma kw]

Have you considered a cradle or bassinet for the new born ?( excuse my spelling!). We found once our son met his new sister ( he was 2 1/2) he decided HE wanted to be in his big boy bed, as babies slept in cribs , and he was a big brother now!! We had an adorable wooden cradle that could be rocked, perfect for beside our bed for the first week or so , then moved to the nursery easily!
Good luck, hope all goes well!

[Chicky Chicky Baby]

She's still so young. I say keep her in the crib and you'll both get a good night's sleep. You and baby-to-be certainly need it!

We're transitioning Chicky to her big girl bed this coming weekend. I AM NOT looking forward to it and she's almost a year older than Charlotte.

[Alex Elliot]

My kids are 32 months apart and we got a second crib. Why rock the boat? I heard from too many friends that forcing their kids out the crib was the worst mistake they've made. The Boston Globe ran an article a few years ago that I was given when my son was a community kid in the Early Intervention playgroup. It said that kids weren't ready to get out their cribs until between 3 and 4. The last thing I wanted was two kids that weren't sleeping. In my moms group, people can't give away cribs. A lot of the charities no longer take them, so at least around here, it's pretty easy to find one either through a moms group, Freecycle or Craig's list if cost is a factor. My son loved his crib and stayed in it until he was 3.5. For the record, my son was potty trained during the day.