Ahhhh, Kelly Clarkson!

So in the past few days, I've gotten a bikini wax, a pedicure and a manicure (Myrtle Beach--2 more days!) during my lunch breaks. Opting for cheap instead of ritzy, I go to a salon I discovered in the somewhat gritty Downtown Crossing area of Boston, as opposed to swanky Newbury Street.

A total of $64 later (not including tips), I am tidy (yes, that area) and uncalloused (not that area--my feet!). And because I'm a giver, I thought I'd share with you some of my salon observations:

Bikini waxing. There's just no damn way to be modest during this process, is there? Even with granny panties on, your legs are sprawled wiiiiiide open.

It helps when your waxer doesn't really speak English. That way there's no pretense of small talk or chitchat about the weather as you're lying (laying?) there with your girly bits exposed; thusly leaving you free and clear to compose blog entries such as this as you anticipate the next excruciating tear of the waxy paper off your nether regions.

It lessens the pain if you grip the skin on the inside of your inner thigh and hold it taut while the waxing is being done. Truly. (Right Sarah. Kinda like a Dora bandaid would heal a gaping flesh wound?)

It always helps to have a meticulous waxer. Someone who's not all willy-nilly in her application. Otherwise you could end up crooked or lopsided down there. Just sayin'.

I would recommend NOT getting a waxing during the work day, as I did. It's hard to focus on your work product when you're worried about being cemented by wax to your office swivel chair. While wearing a skirt.

Finally, in all honesty? Getting a bikini wax is just not that bad. It's really not so much about the ripping out of the hairs as it is the vulnerability of your private body being exposed to a stranger. Am I right?

Moving on to manis and pedis:

Is it just me, or does anyone else get paranoid when all the Asian beauticians speak in their native language? Are they making fun of me? "Look at her gnarly toes!" "Ewww, gross." "I can't believe I have to touch these things!" (Ok, so maybe I'm slightly paranoid.)

Having the callouses shaved off your feet feels soooo good. But not so good that I'm even remotely tempted to purchase this. Spaghetti with "sprinkled parmesan", anyone?

Some women (*cough*thetwosittingonbothsidesofme*cough*) have really gross feet. Hmmm...maybe the girls were actually talking about them??

And finally, before you even make it out of the damn salon, you will inevitably smudge. Every. Single. Time. Grrrr.

Cross-posted at In the Trenches of Mommyhood.

Comments

[Adam]

I feel the same way every time I have to pluck my nose hairs...okay, nevermind it doesn't compare (it does eyes water terribly).

Adam

http://adam-finch.eachday.com

[Adam]

*make* my eyes water terribly

...that's embarrassing

[lemony]

You were right...it's lying, not laying, because people lie and things lay. I know this because my I Just Took My SAT's Teenage Daughter tells me so and because I paid about a zillion dollars for the SAT prep class I'm choosing to believe her.

You're a far braver woman than I. I don't think I could ever let anybody go near the parts that make me a girl with hot wax. Seriously. I'd be shaking in my granny pants.

[Justine Cricks]

True. It's all about having a proper mindset, as in keeping the mind calm to be ready against the discomfort. Feeling embarrassed can keep you from focusing, and that can cause the body to feel surprised (and hurt) during the waxing.