New England Mamas

After School Activities

My older son (OS) turned 5 at the beginning of this month.  However, here the cutoff is September 1 meaning he is in pre-kindergarten this year instead of kindergarten.  Before you start to tell me that it's really such a shame or perhaps I should consider private kindergarten, let me say that we think it's great.  I was thrilled not to have to make the decision as to whether to hold him back.  Honestly I do think it's for the best.  After all, everyone in my family including myself just missed the cutoff too. 

This means though that OS is old enough to do some after school activities that are normally reserved for kindergartners.  One of them is Tae Kwon Do.  The studio that we selected requires kids to be 5.   When we went for the first class, I wasn't sure what to expect much less what to tell OS.   I ended up very pleased.  First of all, unlike some of the other activities OS has done like swim lessons, (and this is being said as a former swim instructor), the kids are moving the entire time.  In swimming, the kids have their turn and then wait at the wall.  In OS's class, they ran around the room darting through cones.  When they reached the instructor they did their kick.  After doing that for a while, they would move onto another activity where the kids would move around even more.  OS was sweaty by the end.  I was also pleased that we don't have to commit to a particular day.  We pay per week and then can just show up at any of the times his level is offered.  I've been told constant activitity and flexible scheduling are common with martial arts.

Both OS and I have been happy with his experience with Tae Kwon Do so far.  Of course that did lead me to a new parenting dilemna:  how do my husband and I manage to make dinner when his level meets right around dinner time?  I guess it's time to pull the crock pot back out so we don't have to do what I did last week:  order a pizza from the studio to pick up on the way home!  I overheard another mom doing it.   

Speaking of time management and organizing activities, I am looking for bloggers to do reviews for a company called Jooners on my personal blog Formula Fed and Flexible Parenting.  I have opportunties for both bloggers and readers to win prizes. 

Trying to Come up for Air

Yeah, that writing-every-Tuesday thing?  I haven't been so great at that, have I?

It's not for lack of topics.  I've had a ton going on, and I'm sure much of it could have easily enough been adapted to a New England Mamas sort of slant.  Back-to-school, health concerns, mother-in-law issues... it's been a busy few months. 

And that busy-ness, by itself, is no excuse, because I've been busy for the past several years and anticipate remaining so for the foreseeable future.  I've been able to keep up with my own blog, my children have been clothed and fed, my house is not in complete disarray.  Things are getting done.  And yet somehow I haven't been posting here.

Don't feel too bad; I've been neglecting other pockets of my life, as well.  I've all but stopped reading anything new or interesting; news, novels, magazines, online essays... if it's going to force my brain to accept any expansion whatsoever, I studiously avoid it.  Which is odd for me, because I can recall, once upon a time, enjoying the experience of learning new things and challenging myself.  Now?  No, thanks, I'm good right here with my complacency, thanks.  I've been lackluster in most email correspondance, though my inbox is crammed full of notes that I'll reply to any minute now.  Just you wait.

I think I normally run at a very high level of competency, and in recent months, I've been edging dangerously close to capacity.  Rather than slow down and admit that I'm juggling too much, because I honestly don't know which of these balls I can safely drop for a beat, I have quietly waylaid a few priorities - always things that are important to me, alone, and not especially important to the people around me, because that's what happens to moms, isn't it?  For a while I didn't even recognize that I had laid aside those pursuits, until 11:00 p.m. on a Tuesday would roll by and I would thump myself in the forehead for having forgotten to post, here, again.  Until I make it to the library and discover that the book  I wanted is no longer in the "New Releases" section.  Until I go to reply to an old email and have it bounced back, "unknown address." 

I'm not sure that there will be an immediate solution, but I'm hoping that awareness, and public acknowledgment thereof, is, if not half the battle, at least a reasonable first step. 

Connecting the Dots

Hi there. I'm here to post my bi-weekly entry, although I have to admit to feeling unmotivated. Not specifically about writing here - that's not it. I just don't feel I have anything particularly interesting to write about.

I also have a loose writing deadline I should be working on for another project. Well, potential project, let's say. A few nights ago I had thought of the perfect topic to write about. I was so excited to get to it! But at the time, it was late at night and I was just holding off for the morning.

Morning came and I completely forgot what I was going to write about. That was several days ago. The inspiration has not returned to my brain.

Starting last week I've been working a second shift part time temp job. It's completely not glamorous. Mail processing. Yippee. The 6 hour shifts I do Monday thru Friday are just about as much human computer/quota pushing/envelope opening I can handle.

I do love that this second shift job gives me completely free mornings to tend to Sweetie's school comings and goings. And I love that the office I work out of is only about 2 miles from my house. I'm home after work in a flash! However, my mom watches Sweetie in the time between the start of my work and the end of Hubby's workday. She lives 20 minutes away from me. So, if mom doesn't come to retrieve Sweetie from me (we take turns coming and going), then I'm driving 20 minutes away to drop Sweetie off just to turn right around and head 25 minutes back to work. So much for the convenience of in-town work.

Anyway - all this to say... I'm feeling disjointed. Disconnected. My days are chopped up into 2 - 3 hour bits. A few hours each morning to myself while Sweetie's at work (which were spent, last week, running many, many errands); then a few hours with Sweetie at home, then transferring Sweetie to her Nana and getting myself to work.

Even work is cut into time chunks - which is actually preferable. I couldn't possibly remain sane if I didn't get that 20 minute break in the middle to step away from the machines.

Home after 9pm, a couple hours to do dishes, write, spend time with Hubby. Then off to sleep, only to get up early the next morning and do it all over again.

So - I'm still feeling my way around this new schedule. Still desperately searching for a "real" job. Still trying to take care of Sweetie, clean up the house, spend time with Hubby... all while listening and (trying to) tend to my own needs and wants. That's the hardest part.

This past Sunday we three went to church for the first time in a long, LONG time. Sweetie can't even remember the last time she went to church (other than for a relative's wedding or other religious ceremony). Sweetie really loved going off to her own Kindergarten circle, and Hubby and I enjoyed the quiet, meditative time of peace, understanding and community.

We will return to church. In all of the craziness of not only my new schedule but, by association, Sweetie and Hubby's new schedule, we really see the importance of regular quality connection.

When the week's work and commitments get to be too much, it's nice to think ahead to Sundays in church. Connecting the dots of our family, our community friendships, and ourselves.

Happy Autumn!

Autumn has to be my favorite season. One of the great things about living in New England is that it has four distinct seasons. Last year, at this point, it was still wicked hot. I remember taking the girls apple picking and it was still in the mid 90's. They were wearing shorts and short sleeves and were sweating. It was very un-fall like. And the weather went right from super hot, to downright freezing last year. There was not "fall".

This year, already, the temperature has been seasonable. It's chilly in the morning - which means the girls need to wear a sweater or light jacket. By mid-day, the temperatures, while only reaching the mid to high 70's, have been very warm. In the morning, I love feeling the chill on my arms as I head out for my morning walk. I know, that by the time I finish, the temperature will have changed considerable. I love seeing the low lying fog, the Monarch's lazily flying around. To smell the cool crisp air with a hint of wood smoke. As the season progresses, the wood smoke will increase.

This week, the girls are going apple picking with school. I've already put mums and scarecrows in the front of the house. Already, we've seen the leaves start to change. In lower New England, the peek leaf peeping times are usually early October.

The girls have been excited. They've been saying "it's fall, it's time to go to the fairs! It's time to go to the farms!" And they are right. New England has scores of agricultural fairs throughout the season. And while we missed the two big one's nearby, we may still try to fit in a trip to the Big E. And farms - I believe they mean for apple picking. And hay rides. We tend to try and go apple picking a few times in he fall if we can. And while were at it, we pick up mums, pumpkins, gourds, fresh apple cider and candy apples. Thankfully, we have a few apple orchards nearby!

Another fall favorite is the ever popular corn maze. We have a few small one's nearby, but none can compare to the one at Lyman Orchards. If your in the area, I highly recommend checking it out.

If you've visited my blog regularly you'll know that my family loves hiking. Autumn is a great time to go. Although we didn't hit the woods as much as I wanted to this summer, I hope we can get in a few hikes before winter. Towards the end of October, I'll usually drag my girls out into the woods to capture a holiday picture. Last year, I got some great shots of my girls out in the woods.

Another great fall activity we enjoy is just grabbing our camera, hoping in the car and driving to points unknown. We usually wake up at the crack of dawn, give the kids a yogurt drink and some "trail mix" (a bag of mixed cereal, sometimes with mini marshmallows, peanuts and/or M&M's). We then pick a back road and head off for the day. We stop at cemeteries, roadside streams, trails and other points that interest us. We take pictures and enjoy the crisp weather. At some point, we'll stop for coffee and hot chocolate. Then we'll find a small stand for lunch and keep driving until we feel it's time to head back.

Fall is full of memories. Husband and I got married in the fall - we had an outside reception, overlooking the hills in CT. It was perfect. Although it's a time where plants start to die back, it still gives me a kind of mental awakening. Time slows down. We settle back into routines. School in the morning. Soccer three evenings a week. Soccer Saturdays - with games starting at 9:00am. Homework. Crock pot stews on those days where it just feels right. Despite which seems like a hectic schedule, I feel more relaxed. More rejuvenated. I know there is plenty to do to prepare for winter, yet, I find work comes easier.

Even though you're probably still adjusting to heading back to school, I highly recommend you spend some time outside. Visit a farm stand, state fair or apple orchard. Bake breads, cook stews and enjoy the waning days of sunlight. Before we know it, the sun will be setting by the time the kids step off the school bus. We'll be confined inside for many hours of the day.

Cross-posted at Whirlwind 

Up, up and away

Presque Isle. August. 2008.

I've very rarely been to event that was so satisfyingly...happy.

The simplicity of a balloon launch is it's charm. The crowd who come to watch knows how to wait, knows how to be still, knows the pure joy of watching something as simple as flame lift human beings off the ground as gently as a breeze. Add some homemade pie and red hots to the mix and you get an afternoon of pure enjoyment, even if you are still on the ground.

I found myself laughing out loud as these huge balloons finally lifted off the ground. Something in myself rose up and floated away as well. An unrealized anxiety that I wouldn't find anything in my new home that would make me feel ridiculously good, with no reservations.

How often does that happen?

Not often enough. Next time, I'm going up.

The Greatest Show on Earth Giveaway

The story of my life, right? A 3-ring circus!

The first time I attended a circus performance as a mother, Eldest was a mere toddler. Hubby and I took him and it was NOT a good experience. Why?

I was 9 months pregnant. Rivaling the elephant in girth. And I think we paid something like $10 for a bag of kiddie crack cotton candy.

Thankfully though, my new friends at Mom Central (thanks Audrey!) have offered me another chance at having an enjoyable circus experience, this time with 3 boyz in tow!

And guess what? All you New England blog readers? They want to offer you the same opportunity! Here's the scoop:

"Attending a Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus provides more than just a night out. It creates a memory that lasts a lifetime and a tradition that can be carried on from year to year and generation to generation.

As we get ready for a variety of new and exciting Ringling Bros. shows in cities across the country this fall, Mom Central is pleased to help you share in the enchantment!"

I'M GIVING AWAY FOUR (4) FREE TICKETS TO ONE OF THE BOSTON SHOWS!

The showtimes are as follows:

Wednesday, October 8 at 7:00pm

Thursday, October 9 at 7:00pm

Friday, October 10 at 7:00pm

Saturday, October 11 at 11:00am, 3:00pm, 7:00pm

Sunday, October 12 at 11:00am, 3:00pm, 7:00pm

Monday, October 13 at 12:00pm, 4:00pm

So you wanna go? Just leave a comment HERE with which show you want to attend (make sure I have a valid e-mail for you, please). I'll draw a name on Friday, September 26. Good luck!

P.S. In case you don't win? Here's a 20% discount coupon code for tickets to one of the Boston shows when you order tickets from the Ringling Bros. website: MCC

I Habe A Code.

Well, that certainly  didn't take as long as I hoped it would.  Sniffle.

Today was the 12th day of school for my kids this year, and we already have our first cold.  My son actually started sniffling last Thursday, but since he has wicked bad allergies, I wishfully thought that pollen was the culprit.  But, alas, I blamed the wrong micro-organism.

I spent the weekend with a stuffy head and mild fever, and now the phlegm has arrived.  I'm finding it hard to fathom what I thought was so great about the kids starting school a scant two weeks ago.  Back then, I was all, "Yippee!  Time to take a shower without being greeted by a curious face when I step out!" 

But I forgot about the flip side to the start of school.  The colds, the homework, the exhaustion.  Well, I'm there now, people, and it ain't pretty.  In years past, I've bought Airborne, chomped on zinc, and stashed Purell and Kleenex in my car.  I have become a vigorously demanding harpy insistent on the cleaning of hands whenever my kids may have touched... anything, really.

This year, the little germies obviously got word of my plan to eradicate them and staged a sneak attack on my family.  They didn't wait for the first chill  to arrive in the air, noooooooo.  They were sly.  Crafty, even.  It's 82 degrees outside, for crying out loud!  I admit it, my defenses were down, and now I have been thoroughly ambushed.  Hoooonk!

Anyone out there have a few good suggestions for keeping my family well this winter?

Three Hours

It was the same damn sky. Wouldn't you know it. I left the driveway in my car as a fusion of Over the Rainbow and What a Wonderful World came on the satellite radio. The overall effect of high blue and a gentle warble atop the ukulele should've inspired something like contentment, but instead I listened closely to the lyrics for a meaning I could relate to. It was right there. I didn't have to wait long. The wonderful world over the rainbow is a dream.

Before I got into the car I watched a ceremony and fed the baby. Then I drove to book club, where a group of us sat for two hours discussing things like organic food, the ubiquitousness of corn, and too many roosters in my friend's coop. Afterward I tooled over to the gas station to put $55 onto my credit card for transmittal to the Gulf.

Soon after my day began--at home, while the baby ate, at ten till nine--a young woman was reading the As on the alphabetical list of victims from the Twin Towers. Z did not come till I returned home, ten minutes shy of noon. In the car and at book club and next to the pump, there was a soundtrack of names I couldn't hear being mic'd over a chasm.

Three hours. With all the motions, emotions, and thoughts (about the day-to-day, but also about things less grounded) inherent in that span, I was able to contextualize in time the meaning of 2,751.

It was 180 minutes of living in the time it took to read the names of the dead.

That was the Twin Towers alone. Add Shanksville. Add the Pentagon. Then Afghanistan and Iraq. Each name buys me time that--at any given moment--I don't even realize is being paid for. But then I stop to think. And when the world doesn't stop with me, I start to understand.

There are not enough hours in the day. There are never enough hours in the day.

Cross posted at 24/7.

On September 11th

7 years ago today. A Tuesday.

I was 36 weeks pregnant. Lumbering and uncomfortable as I boarded the 7:22 a.m. commuter rail bound for my job at a law firm in Boston. Arrived at work after 8.

Was chatting on the phone with a friend, discussing our baby showers that had both taken place that weekend. Mine on Saturday, hers on Sunday (our poor collective friends!) while our hubbies frollicked in New York City at a Yanks/Sox game. One of my friends from Florida had flown up for my shower. She flew out of Logan Airport in Boston on Monday morning.

I was interrupted from my conversation when a co-worker peeked her head in and said, "Your husband is on my line. Apparently, he needs to talk to you." So I said goodbye to my friend (who was home, but didn't have her TV on) and got on the line with Hubby.

"Do you have your computer on?" he asked breathlessly.

"No. I just got here and was on the phone with Mary. Why? What's up?"

"A plane crashed into the World Trade Center! They don't know many details yet though. TURN ON YOUR COMPUTER!"

Slowly the buzz began to spread on my 21st floor. We were directed into a conference room to watch the breaking news on a projection screen.

That was when I saw the second plane hit.

Shortly after, a firm-wide e-mail was delivered. Our building would be closing at 10 a.m. We were all to evacuate immediately.

I called Hubby back. (Meanwhile he had been frantically trying to call me. The firm's phone lines were being inundated.) Hubby was nervous that they were going to shut down all public transportation. That I wouldn't be able to get out of the city of Boston. 9 months pregnant.

My friend Michelle (who was also working in Boston at the time) and I miraculously got through to each other via our cell phones. We met downtown, so we could walk to the train station together.

It was eerie. Practically everyone in downtown Boston had been evacuated. The city streets were packed, yet it was oddly hushed. Everyone was rushing, furiously punching buttons on their cell phones, desperately trying to get a signal.

I tried to call Hubby from the train station to let him know what my meager train options were to get back home to Central Massachusetts. There was only one train headed towards home, yet it would only take me as far as Framingham, about a 45 minute drive, and not where I had parked my car that morning. But I couldn't get in touch with him. The lines were jammed.

So I waited until the last possible minute to board that train, worried that Hubby might already be driving into Boston to collect me; nervous that he wasn't, and that I indeed NEEDED to get on the train.

Finally, as the announcement was blaring, "Final boarding call!", Hubby and I connected. I SHOULD take the train, and he'd pick me up in Framingham.

As you can imagine, the train was packed. Every seat full, every aisle space occupied. But so silent. Someone kindly felt sorry for my swollen whale-ness and gave me a seat. I let a few strangers borrow my cell phone.

Everyone lost in their own thoughts. Fear, stifled but present. Uncertainty.

I spent the next three days on the couch in my "uniform" (you know, the only XL maternity clothes that fit), glued to the TV. Alternating between grief, disbelief and horror.

What kind of world was I bringing a child into?

Unsafe.

September 11, 2001. I will never forget.

[Re-posted from In the Trenches of Mommyhood 9/11/07.]

The Sound of Silence

Can I just say it now?

I freakin' love having the kids back in school.

Packing them off in the morning is fast becoming my favorite part of the day.  There is something about having the house to myself that allows my brain to work better.  It might be the knowledge that I won't be interrupted at whatever task I choose to do, or it could just be the blessed silence that affects me so deeply.

All I know is that I'm embarrassingly happy to be alone in my house this morning.  And I've already finished up some of the tasks I tried to work on all weekend long.  And the dishwasher is running, and the phone calls have been made, and I still have hours to myself. 

So, I'll say it again: I freakin' love having the kids back in school.