I’m the Mom of a Catholic School kid

I attended Mass this morning at our church. I'm not sure I can technically say "our" church since the only one going on a regular basis is my daughter. But today was Family Mass Day, so I rearranged my company's entire morning schedule (no joke) to be there.

Why? Because it's Catholic School Week, and she asked me to go. And how could I explain to her that everything else in my life is more important than church right now when I'm sending her to Catholic school?

Which resurrected the nagging, internal discussion I seem to have over and over in my head - why am I sending my child to Catholic school? What am I hoping she'll achieve there that she may not achieve by attending our public school?

I went to public school from kindergarten to graduation. No issues here, unless you count that time in Virginia, but the warrants have been dropped. Oh never mind that for now.

But seriously, education isn't something I take lightly. It's one of the most important things that I believe you can give your children as a foundation for success. And I'm not just talking monetary or professional success - I'm talking about success as a person capable of making good, smart, solid decisions that not only affect you, but everyone around you. I remind my kids all the time, this isn't your world, you share it with everyone you meet so be considerate.

So, why Catholic school? Well, outside of the obvious opportunity to learn about Catholicism (which is fascinating to me as an adult learning it all over again), here are some of the reasons that helped us in our decision:

1. Class size. First and foremost is the basic criterion that there are only so many slots, and only so many desks, and even with desired growth there will be children waiting to attend instead of being crammed into a room. Expectations are similar to college - you pay to go but if you can't muster the grades or follow the rules, you're out. You don't get to just take up space.

2. I hate the MCAS. I believe teachers should be allowed to teach to help children learn, not to test well. I think there are plenty of other standards that could be put in place to help with the changes in education. I am NOT a school educator but it just seems that stressing kids out over their MCAS tests can't be effective. And sadly, our teachers aren't making nearly the salaries they should be and are expected to keep every individual child on track. Getting off topic here, sorry...save it for another day.

3. Morals. I want my kids to respect adults, their peers and the value of life in general. With the separation of church and state such a hot button in public education (and trust me, I don't advocate kids praying in public schools), I think it's more difficult for public educators to teach morals and proper values simply because some parents will inevitably challenge them on it. So I pay extra for morals to be taught to my kids. Odd, I know. I also believe a majority of those values have to come from the home and with the school and families expected to work together, it's harder to be lax on that in their early years (the reason I attended Mass today is a perfect example of the two in motion). Where we fail with kids and morals in the public system seems to be evident from examples like this, recently.

4. Uniforms. Man I love those uniforms. I really can't say enough about that. Some public schools in our area have instituted them as well and I think it's fantastic. I wish we had them as a kid. Probably would have saved me a ton of angst searching for parachute pants and Calvin Klein jeans that actually fit me back in '82.

5. Curriculum. Art. Music. Computer lab. Library. English. Math. Social Studies. Science. Language. Sports. School newspaper. Swim club. Ski club. Latin club. Chess club. Basketball. Yup, looks like a good curriculum to me. And there is little risk of losing any of it due to grant or budget cuts. Supplies are stocked. Computers work. Extra-curricular school activities are available.

6. I've seen it work. I think having friends that graduated from Catholic schools, and knowing parents and kids who attended the same school as my kids was a big influence on me. They are all solid, kind, smart people. The kind of people I'd love my kids to emulate.

I also think part of the decision can be summarized by something my colleague said to me once, "My job was to raise respectable adults and I feel like I did my job. That's the best I could do. It's up to them now." So while I'm extremely hypocritical in that I can't follow a Catholic Mass to save my life; don't insist the family goes to church every Sunday; haven't confessed a sin since, well, um, forever, why should that prohibit me for wanting a better education for my children? I've enrolled my son to start there in the fall and we're looking forward to seeing what our children can become. Which education choice is best for your children? Are you happy with your school options or have you been thinking of making a change?

Comments

[Fairly Odd Mother]

I'm with you on all of the above reasons (yay to uniforms!!), although I get a little squiggly about the morals point, mainly b/c I've heard that argument used when it comes to religion before: if my kids aren't taught (religious) morals, how will they ever learn to be good kids? In other words, if I don't hold heaven/hell, God's commandments, or WWJD over their heads, what will compel them to be good people?

I'm not sure how or if public schools teach morals, but I think this is where parents really, really need to step in anyway and not hope the schools will get it right. It doesn't takes hours and hours of classes to teach kids morals, or even a fancy curriculum---just read stores (Aesop's fables are great), talk about your own morals, practice what you preach and then follow through.

Other than that, I think your gut is telling you this is a good fit for your kids, and I think that's great!

[Christine Sierra]

I totally agree that morals fall almost squarely on the shoulders of the parents/caregivers, and your suggestions of what to do at home are spot on.

I tend to think of the religion classes in her school as a supplement to morals in more of a historical way. To me, The Bible is the greatest history book ever written, whether you believe it to be all fact or part fiction, but the message that falls out of each of her lessons is the same: churches and Catholicism were born out of the desire to be good members of God's world and members are taught to help each other, the poor and needy in the community and to try their best to live a life respecting the people and elements contained in it.

I have a hard time reaffirming that she'll go to hell if she's not a perfect Catholic when I can't support the heaven and hell theory, or that the commandments even apply to how our society has evolved. However, the birth of religion has a great message with it that I believe offers up some introduction to morals especially for those who aren't given moral guidance at home.

I know many families do a fantastic job without the help of the church or religion in their teachings, but others don't, and by choosing to send my kids to a school that is allowed to at least include that message in the curriculum makes me feel like perhaps they are held a bit more accountable for their actions and behavior vs what can be accomplished in the public schools when parents don't always have a common element pulling them together beyond just the academics?

Right now, it's just a theory - my other theory is that we're all pre-programmed anyway and nothing I do is worth a damn in the end :)

[Margaret]

I agree one hundred percent. Although my kids classes are a bit larger this year then I'd like (and they were in the past) due to the closing of another local Catholic school and our school absorbing more kids (I'm hoping they will open another class or two next year to alleviate this).

One more thing I'd like to add is No Child Left Behind. I have friends in the public school who will tell you point blank, their kids should have been held back, but were not allowed to. Then those parents had to hire outside tutors over the summer to get their kids where they should. My youngest is a tad younger then most of her peers. And a bit immature in some ways. We've already started thinking on whether we would like to keep her back in K again next year. And if that's what we choose, we know that we, as parents can make that decision. And we'd rather do it now then have her fall behind or just skate by later in life.

Another is involvement. I see alot of involvement in the school from the parents because they want what's best for their children (or course, most parents regardless of their school choice do as well). But our parents are committed to making it work and making sure that our kids come first and that they have what is needed. if our teachers say, "I wish I had this, or I'm short on that" - 100% of time - she has multiple of that object in hand the next day.

I also know that I can walk into their school any time with any concern and my voice is heard. That I can make a difference in their education. That I can approach their teacher and vice versa.

I know that when i drop my kids off in the morning, they are in excellent hands and I do not have to worry about them at all.

Oh and I think I want your school - ours doesn't have a ski club or swim club (A would LOVE those) :( We do have a robotics club.

We try to go to Mass every week (which is more set in stone now that our oldest talked us into letting her be an alter server). However, I do not go to Mass during the week. Of course, Ash Wednesday falls during school vacation week, and the kids have already insisted that we go. SO of course, I guess I am going to have to drag myself and them their next week.

[creative type dad]

The uniforms thing would sell my wife and I. I just hate fighting with my 4 year old on what she's going to wear every single day.
And yes, other things too, like 3.

[generic viagra]

any sport is good, an exercise where you feel relaxed and it is the best of life!

[Chrétiens persécutés]

The opportunity to learn about Catholicism is an excellent reason to go to a Catholic school.

[super slim pomegranate]

Very like it ,thank you for sharing with us!

[קלאב מד]

I think first is the basic criterion that slots are only for many, and only as desks, and even a desired growth, there will be children waiting to attend instead of being crammed into a room.

[פינגווין חופשות]

I have read your post, i following with you you are explain what is real world and how to lived good life.

[לפרטים]

I went to public school from kindergarten through graduation. No problems here, unless you count the time in Virginia.