New England Mamas

What? How did this happen?

My son is exceptionally lazy. He's a smart kid, nice much of the time, but that child needs a firecracker lit under his ass to make him move.  He's just not lazy, he's slothlike. Getting him to perform is almost impossible without bribery and coercion. Not that I have a problem with bribery and coercion. When you are working with teenagers, you honestly have little choice but bribery or coercion.

This kid is a junior in high school and as far as I can remember, he has never ever done a lick of homework at home. He says he does it at school, but most of the time his report cards come with comments about how much work he's missing. Oh, he still gets decent grades because he's wicked smart, but he would do so much better if he ever made any attempt to do his homework. Since this is a battle we've been fighting since first grade, I long ago bowed out, determining that it was his responsibility to earn his own grades. Yeah, I'm the mean mom that never did the science projects.

Today his 3rd term report card arrived. I opened it up with my usual trepidation, knowing that it would both reflect his intelligence and his laziness. Imagine my shock when there wasn't one comment about missing homework. And even more shocking, all A's. The child has finally, in the third term of his junior year, figured out that his grades count.

I am a proud proud mother tonight. I know it took much longer than it should have, but he learned his lesson before he finished high school, which is about 4 years earlier than I learned this same lesson. With all A's for this and next term, his chances at colleges in the top tier vastly improve.

I wish I could promise each parent reading this who has a lazy kid that eventually your child will get it. I hope that for each and every one of you, I really do. But even if it takes much much longer than you ever thought it would, there is always hope. If MY kid can get it, believe me, any kid can!

28 adults, 5 kids, one dinner

Passover is coming up in a few weeks. In Jewish families across the world, the word Passover is greeted with a combination of dread and excitement.

Dread, because the pre-Passover preparations are daunting at best, and a complete horror for most of us. It means completely cleaning every single room in your house, getting rid of every possible crumb of leavening (all those loose cheerios have got to be found and removed), scrubbing down the floors, windowsills, tabletops, etc, and then tackling the kitchen. The dreaded kitchen. The one where you have to completely remove all food that isn't Kosher for Passover. Where you have to change all your dishes from your regular dishes to your Passover dishes. Ditto for silverware, pots and pans, utensils, cutting boards, and anything else you use to cook with. Everything you use all the rest of the year cannot be used during Passover.

Packing up and entire kitchen is how some people do it. Me, I'm lazier than most. I just tape my cabinets shut, clean off a large metal wire shelf in our kitchen, and cover all the counters with extra thick tin foil. I replace all the sponges, dishwasher detergent, cleanser, etc. I clean the oven and the cooktop. I clean out our entire fridge, scrub down every inch of the thing, and then only put Kosher for Pesach food in it. I bring up from the basement our Passover pots and pans, utensils, etc. The dishes are already up here in the dining room in a cabinet that only contains KLP items.

Even though I'm lazy, it takes a full two or three days to turn over my kitchen. My teeny tiny one counter galley kitchen. I pity the people who have giant fancy kitchens. It must take weeks.

Once the kitchen is turned over for Passover, it's time to cook. And cook. And cook.  Our family usually shares holidays with another family. We do so for a variety of reasons. She has a much bigger house and can accommodate more people. She has more dishes and silverware, etc.  She has a husband that doesn't mind doing dishes. Mountains of dishes.

On the other hand, she's a terrible cook. I mean TERRIBLE. I know it, she knows it, everyone knows it. She doesn't have any desire to cook, plus, well, she's a bit tight on the wallet. She has no clue of how to estimate how much food to buy, and if she could, she would buy way too little and everyone would go home complaining about the two raisins they ate for dinner. Ahem. Plus, that tightness determines what she will purchase, as well as how much, and she's the type to always buy the crappiest no-name brand stuff. Which is fine for her family, but not when she's having guests.

Oh, did I mention that right now, we've got 28 adults and 5 children coming and we still aren't quite sure just how many will actually be invited by Passover? And how most of those people are her family, not mine. And how she wanted to buy ONE turkey and ONE turkey breast for all those people? OMG, I almost choked. I was like "Ah, that isn't going to be anywhere near enough food" and she was all confused. She thought it would be just fine until I pointed out that most of the guests were not only adults, but hearty eaters. Lordy!

So I'm cooking. Again. Which is OK, I like to cook. I like to cook a lot. But I do not like to cook for an army. This is a LOT of people. Most of whom I don't know. But it being Passover, I'm going to be pleasant and smile while I cook for a full week.

This is the menu:

5 logs home made gefilte fish
Chicken soup with Matzoh Balls
2  ~15 lb turkeys
1 brisket tzimmes
1 vegetarian tzimmes
I large potato kugel
1 carrot kugel
2 other TBD kugels
Farfel stuffing for turkey
4 bunches asparagus, grilled
2 heads broccoli, steamed
glazed carrots with ginger
honey roasted potatoes

Dessert

chocolate orange macaroons
hazelnut chocolate cake
fresh fruit platter
"store bought" cakes
candy

Now, that seems like a meal for a large number of people, where everyone can have a small taste of everything if they want, or people can eat vegetarian, poultry, beef, and a combination of everything.

I've got the entire cooking plan down, and it will take 5 days to get everything prepared that can be refrigerated or frozen early. On the day, we'll cook the two turkeys, the honey-roasted potatoes, the veggies, and heat everything else up.

I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

Now Why Should She Clean Up?

This morning my industrious daughter decided to make pancakes. She had a friend over, so she thought it would be a nice idea to have a family breakfast. I was upstairs reading a book when she started this endeavor. She was cooking for 3 teenagers and 1 adult.

First she came up to ask me how to half the recipe on the box. Math isn't anyone's strong suit in this family. Next she came up to ask me which pan to use. I reminded her that we have a griddle that she could use. I told her where it was, but on the way downstairs she forgot and had to yell up to ask me again.

For a bit after that it was quiet and I could smell the sweet odor of pancake batter hitting the griddle. Engrossed in my novel, I didn't pay much attention to what was going on until I heard an incredibly shrill voice at tip top volume yell, "Don't TOUCH those pancakes. I did all the cooking myself and you didn't help at all and now you want to eat them before I had a chance to even finish. GO SIT DOWN AND WAIT LIKE A HUMAN BEING."  She was yelling at her brother. "That's my girl"  I thought. Good for her for sticking up for herself and her pancakes.

When they were ready, she was astounded to see how many she made. Mountains of pancakes. Mounds of them on three plates. Big giant mounds. It was like she was feeding an army or something. 

Everyone had a big plate and there were tons left over. She put them away and walked away from the dishes, which sat all afternoon. After her friend left,  I sent her to do the dishes and she started yelling at me. "Why should I do the dishes? I cooked all those pancakes for you guys while you sat around and did nothing."

I reminded her that she cooked the pancakes on her own terms. Nobody asked her for pancakes. But she did cook them, and since it was her friend, she needed to clean up her own mess.

She did, but she's so not happy about it.

The rest of us? We're in a pancake stupor over here.

Announcing a brand new blog!

Hi fellow New England Moms,

Several months ago, a few women determined that we weren't getting quite the representation we needed from the blogosphere. We're older moms with older kids. Kids in high school or college, or even beyond college. We needed a community for us, the mid-century moms. After some discussion, MidCentury Modern Moms was born. We've been posting there, and we've been adding some fine writers as well.

Now we're ready for our grand opening. We want to welcome you all to MidCentury Modern Moms, where parenting teens is our daily job. We're a diverse group of moms, with a very diverse group of teens and young adults. Some of us are experiencing the empty nest syndrome, while others of us can't wait to get our smelly teens off to college!

To welcome you in grand style, we'll be offering a contest. Yes, free stuff! Everyone's favorite. The contest entails reading the archives to answer some key questions. It will be up in the next day or two, so keep your eyes sharply peeled.

See this beautiful banner. It's the work of my very special friend, Secret Agent Josephine. Doesn't it look kinda familiar? It's my family! Even the Worthless Pet is there. She's such a wonderful artist. Go and give her some special loving while she's vacationing in Hawaii.

And don't forget to visit us every day at MidCentury Modern Moms. I can promise you, even if your kids are still small, there's plenty to learn about teens at MCMM. It's not all scary, either!

What is it with ridiculously priced kids clothes?

This afternoon my daughter tried to convince me that she needs a new, light weight jacket for spring and fall. For the past 4 years she's been wearing her black North Face Denali jacket, which is an absolute requirement for any teenager living in the Boston area. I don't mind this jacket, it's washable, it's warm, and it's rather innocuous looking. But it also costs and arm and a leg. $165 seems, at least to me, to be a rather expensive amount to shell out on a jacket. The one she owns was a gift of sorts, and she loves it to death. But it's worn out and she does need a new jacket. Only I can't make myself pay that kind of money for a freaking jacket.

Then there are the shoes. If you live in our area, you must have Ugg Boots. No other brand will do. Uggs. I happen to adore my Uggs, and my daughter has a pair or two as well. Every pair we have comes from Marshalls, where they were half priced. I'll spend $60 on winter boots that will last through several winters. I will not pay $120. But one MUST have Uggs around here. Plus, one must have the right color Uggs. I know. It's so insane, but remember back to when you were in high school and how important it was to have just what your friends had. I remember feeling so out of it when my mother would absolutely refuse to get me something that every other kid had. She emphasized individuality, but at that point in my life, I didn't want to dress like an individual. Very few teenagers do.

For example, take blue jeans. There are millions of kinds of jeans, but teenagers in our town? They want to wear only a couple of brands. Brands that cost so freaking much that it boggles the mind. When did only expensive brands become the thing to wear? What happened to buying clothing at the surplus store? See what an old fogey I am.

The thing is, I have real issues with the prices of what's popular, but I have even more issues with making a kid wear things that deign him as an outcast. It's plain wrong to do that to a kid. I'm certainly not able to afford most of the things that make kids fit in, but I'm also willing to buy last year's models, or work the second-hand stores. I'll do ebay, I'll even beg friends for hand-me-downs. But I will not let my kid were cheap crappy clothes that make her stand out.

I often read blog posts about how people will never ever spend big money on their kids clothing when they become teenagers. Mostly these are the parents of young kids and young kids honestly do not care what they wear. But when a kid becomes a teen, his self-esteem is not at the highest point, and mostly what he wants to do is just belong. To impose your values on your kids at that delicate age seems wrong to me. I want my kids to feel a part of their high school community and if it means dressing just like everyone else, then so be it. Is that so wrong?

I just wish the stuff was cheaper.

Gardening catalogs, you mock me so

It is yet another cold rainy day. One of many. I think we've seen the sun three times in the past 2 months. Not only does the continual gray weather depress the hell out of me, it makes me so angry because what I really want to do is garden.

Oh, I know. Way to early to even consider the garden, you're saying. You New Englanders by birth don't get that we Californians by birth feel that gardens should be started in February, once the rains stop. Of course, here in Boston the rains aren't going to ever stop. But you know what I mean.

Right around this time of year every year without fail I get the gardening blues. The catalogs start rolling in and I swear, I'd take one of everything if I could afford it. I want to add a bunch of Buddlea to the back stone wall to attract butterflys. I want to put in a fruit garden with blueberries, raspberries and blackberries. And an orchard. Apple, peach, pear, and nectarine trees. Next to the orchard I want a big kitchen garden with all the regular salad veggies, plus asparagus, brussel sprouts, eggplant and maybe even some winter squashes. Of course there will be my herb garden, which suffered terribly this winter and will probably all have to be replaced. The only thing that looks alive is the lavender. It is hard to kill lavender.

I start planning by begging in vain to my children to turn over the soil and dig in peat and organic manure. They will refuse, just like they do every year. So I will hire one of their friends and pay him right in front of them. Because I'm mean like that.

Once the beds are turned over, I'm going to experiment with that black fabric weed barrier. I've always used salt marsh hay, but I bought one roll that will cover 150 sq ft, so it will be a decent test of how well it works. I don't weed. I hate weeding with a passion. Really.

While I'm dreaming of my garden, I'll continue to read those evil catalogs and circle every plant I want.

Do you think the bank would be willing to lend me $10K for plants?

Our Boys in Suits

Yesterday many of the Red Sox visited the White House to show George Bush the World Series trophy. They were all dressed to the nines, even Curt Shilling. Not surprising, Bush made a gaffe and insulted first Manny and then Paperbaum. So not funny.

After the White House, the Sox visited Walter Reed Hospital to cheer up the many very wounded soldiers home from the middle east. They all talked about how moving it was to be able to talk to the soldiers and know that they were giving them something really special; time with their favorite players.

The Sox looked so exceptionally handsome I wanted to share some photos.

Tim Wakefield looking particularly spiffy in classic gray.

Julio Lugo in classic black.

Yummy Jason Varitek in a gorgeous charcoal very well fitting suit.

The other side of snow

As much as we all bitch and moan about the snow, it is beautiful. Well, at least it's beautiful right after it falls and before it gets all disgusting and slushy brown.

The view outside my bedroom window.

My kid gets more mail than I do

In the past week or so, our house has been inundated with mail from colleges. My son in a junior and it's that time. But lordy, I had no inkling that there were so many colleges out there interested in a non-motivated screw-up that's very very smart. You would think colleges would be a bit more selective, especially after reading all those articles about how hard it is to get into the top tier schools. Well, maybe the top tier doesn't want to look at my son, but everyone else is madly courting him. It's so weird. A week ago this kid had no interest whatsoever in college. I mean, he knew he would be going to college 'eventually' but mostly he wanted to take a gap year to grow up a bit. I'm rooting for the gap year for a variety of reasons, but mostly because he'll be 16 when he graduates and that is just too young for college.

We've met with the school college and career counselor just this week, and we've spoken to the guidance counselor as well. My son stated his goal, which I blanched at, and I stated my goal, which he blanched at. So far, we're stuck with several paths to look into.

What surprised me most about all this college mail was the number of colleges in the New England region I've never even heard of. When you think colleges in MA, you think BU, BC, Harvard, MIT, Tufts, Wellesley and maybe Smith. All first or top second tier schools. Big expensive private schools. But you don't think of Western New England College, or Westfield State College, both in the western part of MA. UMass is off pretty much every parent's radar due to the hideous campus, the terrible reputation as ZooMass, and the numerous bad years where Massachusetts forgot it even had a land grand university out in Amherst.

I'm excited to begin this long process of making such a monumental decision but because I didn't grow up here, I'm unfamiliar with many of the smaller good New England based colleges. Therefore, I'm reaching out to you readers to help suggest colleges you know and love. Nothing top tier, there's no way the kid could handle the pressure, but the good second tier schools. Smaller is better, but too small is too expensive!

So what say you all?

Happy Happy Truck Day

Today is a big holiday in New England. It's Truck Day!

What? You've never heard of Truck Day? Horrors! What kind of a Red Sox fan are you?

Truck Day is the day that the large moving van carrying all the Red Sox equipment leaves Fenway and heads down to Ft. Meyers, Florida. It really doesn't seem like it should be much of a holiday, but we're talking Red Sox Nation here, and we're so ready for the season to begin, we celebrate a big giant moving van filled with sports equipment leaving town. Hard to believe, I know, but it's true. Fans gather outside Fenway to see the truck off, Wally and a bunch of other Red Sox employees ride on a open platform truck behind the moving van, and all the fans wave and cheer. We're that desperate for spring training. Don't believe me? Check this out.

Truck Day, for New Englanders, marks the first true sight of spring in the air. It means that next week the pitchers and catchers will report to Ft Meyers and start training. It also means that every newscast for the next couple of months, until opening day, will feature our sports reporters standing by palm trees wearing Hawaiian shirts. We hate them! It's not fair.

This year is unusual in that the Red Sox will be going to Japan in March to play some games against the Oakland Athletics on March 25 and 26 in Tokyo.  However, before that, we get to see the team in Ft Meyers starting next week!

Red Sox pitchers and catchers will report to Fort Myers by Saturday (Feb. 18), and will have their first workout on Sunday. The full squad is due to arrive on Feb. 22. The first full-squad workout will take place Feb. 23.

The Red Sox open their spring schedule on Thursday, March 2.

Go Sox!