New England Mamas

All I want for Christmas. . .

. . . is for tele-porters to be invented already. Is that too much to ask?

Really, it's the 21st century - shouldn't we be able to zap our molecules to B.J.'s to pick up our holiday necessities and then zap back home?  Can you imagine how much less stressful a New England winter would be if we could just zap the kids to school and then zap ourselves to work? No shoveling, no taking our lives into our hands trying to drive the short trip to the store at 20 miles an hour, no picking our way through icy parking lots and risking a broken limb?

Small Town Gal

Living on Cape Cod, you get used to the ebb and flow of the population throughout the year.  Summer comes and so do the tourists and seasonal residents. All the stores and restaurants are open and there are almost too many activities to handle. The traffic is crazy and the beaches beckon, and it all goes by too quickly.  

Everyone moans about the end of summer, but fall comes and it's still gorgeous... and even better? The traffic eases up!  As winter creeps in on us, businesses shut their doors for a few months and things slow down even more, and although it might sound depressing, I love it. Sure, I'd appreciate my favorite restaurants staying open year-round. And yes, the stores do seem to carry less of everything I want... and okay, I'll admit the weather often sucks. But good things happen, too - for example, the "seasonal water view" (as the realtors say) from our deck comes back, and the foliage is often lovely.    

A more magical thing than a pretty view happens, though:

I Habe A Code.

Well, that certainly  didn't take as long as I hoped it would.  Sniffle.

Today was the 12th day of school for my kids this year, and we already have our first cold.  My son actually started sniffling last Thursday, but since he has wicked bad allergies, I wishfully thought that pollen was the culprit.  But, alas, I blamed the wrong micro-organism.

I spent the weekend with a stuffy head and mild fever, and now the phlegm has arrived.  I'm finding it hard to fathom what I thought was so great about the kids starting school a scant two weeks ago.  Back then, I was all, "Yippee!  Time to take a shower without being greeted by a curious face when I step out!" 

But I forgot about the flip side to the start of school.  The colds, the homework, the exhaustion.  Well, I'm there now, people, and it ain't pretty.  In years past, I've bought Airborne, chomped on zinc, and stashed Purell and Kleenex in my car.  I have become a vigorously demanding harpy insistent on the cleaning of hands whenever my kids may have touched... anything, really.

This year, the little germies obviously got word of my plan to eradicate them and staged a sneak attack on my family.  They didn't wait for the first chill  to arrive in the air, noooooooo.  They were sly.  Crafty, even.  It's 82 degrees outside, for crying out loud!  I admit it, my defenses were down, and now I have been thoroughly ambushed.  Hoooonk!

Anyone out there have a few good suggestions for keeping my family well this winter?

The Sound of Silence

Can I just say it now?

I freakin' love having the kids back in school.

Packing them off in the morning is fast becoming my favorite part of the day.  There is something about having the house to myself that allows my brain to work better.  It might be the knowledge that I won't be interrupted at whatever task I choose to do, or it could just be the blessed silence that affects me so deeply.

All I know is that I'm embarrassingly happy to be alone in my house this morning.  And I've already finished up some of the tasks I tried to work on all weekend long.  And the dishwasher is running, and the phone calls have been made, and I still have hours to myself. 

So, I'll say it again: I freakin' love having the kids back in school.

The End of Summer

Summer has flown right by again.  How does that happen every year?  We listlessly wait through the spring, and then BAM!  It's hot, and it's busy, and it's glorious.  And then it's over.

We spent most of last week in western PA, visiting my family.  My kids spent 95% of every day with their cousins, and while the noise level was excruciating at times, the play time was wonderful for them.  We saw a ton of family, with people dropping by to see us all week and, and I was sad to leave.

Now we are back hom, and my kids start school this week.  After all the enforced quality family time we'd had together on the trip, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thrilled.  My youngest is entering full-day kindergarten, and I'm practically salivating at the thought of having hours to myself each day.  I can tell by the amount of whining and griping I'm hearing that the kids are ready for school to start as well.

But suddenly I am feeling that I'd like to stretch this week out a little longer.  Maybe make it 10 days instead of 7?  Of course, we do have the Labor Day holiday to look forward to, so I guess that will help.  All I know is that I'm a little sick of summer, but I'm not ready for fall yet. 

I've been struck by inspiration, though.  I think I need to go buy a hammock.  I'll set it up and lay out in the sun on the first day of school, with a glass of lemonade and a good book.  That sounds like a lovely way to celebrate the end of summer and the start of the school year, doesn't it?

Road Tripping

It's August, and my family is cramming one last road trip into our summer before school starts.  We usually visit my family in western Pennsylvania each summer, drive the 10 hours from Cape Cod in our trusty mini-van and stay for a week before retracing our route home.  It's a total drag, but as the children have grown, the trip has become slightly more bearable.  Not enjoyable, mind you - sitting in a car for that long is never enjoyable - but at least  there are fewer meltdowns and arguments. 

It used to be that a Road Trip would involve a lot of "He Said, She Said" sniping and angry outbursts, but it's definitely been less stressful this time around.  There has been far less crying than usual, and not a single emotional ultimatum, and everyone has just been calmer in general.  It's been almost peaceful... and the kids have been terrific, as well. 

Oh, did you think I was talking about the kids and their travel tantrums?  Oh, please.  Everyone knows to expect crying and whining from weary children, but what usually makes the road trip experience suck for me is when my husband and I aren't communicating well.  Different driving styles, different attitudes towards speeding, the number of car lengths one should follow behind other vehicles - all of these can be a source of conflict. 

The frequency one should stop for a break, the proper way to pick a toll lane, the amount of gas one should leave in the tank before one should start looking for a service station - these are all subjective issues, right?  A rational person should remember that in the grand scheme of things, none of these are life-threatening choices.  The problem with spending that much time on the road, however, is that the cranky sets in.  Parents get tired, kids get whiny, and that's when it can get ugly. 

With the kids being a little older this time, everybody held onto their good behavior much longer than in the past.  Still, it's a long drive.  It is probably inevitable that at some point, the arguments morph from how soon to take a bathroom break to the claim that one driver has quicker reflexes than the other and thus cannot help the imaginary braking she does whilst in the passenger seat.  And why does the other driver even care, since he is so wrapped up listening to his sports talk radio podcasts that he doesn't even realize he speeds up while shaking with laughing... well, you get the picture.

But we made it, despite the minor sniping and a terrible thunderstorm we could barely see to drive through.  My husband couldn't take the whole week off from work and is flying home on Wednesday, and I've been fielding comments about how hard it will be to drive home alone with the kids.  Honestly, though?   I'm kind of glad I'm making it alone, now that I have once again been reminded where the phrase "driving me crazy" comes from.

Secret Spaces: Miller's Pond

I'd like you to think about Cape Cod for a minute.  What pops right into your mind?  Beaches, right?  Fighting traffic to get here, and then sitting in the sun with a cool beverage to relax after you've arrived.  There are lots of other things that people fixate on - Cape Cod Baseball League games, taffy, and the seafood, of course.  The things people associate with the Cape are iconic, but they tend to have one thing in common.

Summer.  It's always the summer things people associate with Cape Cod, never any other time of the year.  And like other New England destinations, the benefit of having 4 seasons is the ability to see a place as beautiful in 4 completely separate ways.

I'm what is called around here a washashore - someone not born on the Cape, but who has settled here for good.  It's been 7 years now, but I suspect I'll aways be considered a washashore.  My son, on the other hand, was presented with a tiny t-shirt after his birth at Cape Cod Hospital, which read, "Native Cape Codder." 

One of the things that all of us year-round residents (native or otherwise) secretly love is when all the tourists go home.  Sure, there isn't as much to do, and some of our favorite restaurants close for a couple months, but the weather is milder and the pace is slow.  "Come visit us in September," we tell our friends, "and you'll never want to leave!" 

One of my favorite places to go when the seasons change is for a quick walk on the Botanical Trails in Yarmouthport.  We used to live near this land, and in fact could access the marked trails by tromping out our backyard and across some of the acreage.  Once the temperatures drop, the bugs go away and some of the foliage dies back.  It's the perfect time to go for a walk in the woods!

Fodor's Guide says:

"The Botanical Trails of the Historical Society of Old Yarmouth, behind the post office (231 Main St., Yarmouth Port), consists of 50 acres of oak and pine woods and a pond, accented by blueberries, lady's slippers, Indian pipes, rhododendrons, and hollies. Stone markers and arrows point out the 2 mi of trails; you'll find trail maps in the gatehouse mailbox. Just beyond the historical society's trails, you can find Kelley Chapel, built in 1873 by a father for his daughter, who was grieving over the death of her child. An iron woodstove and a pump organ dominate the simple interior. Off Rte. 6A. $1 suggested donation. Gatehouse July and Aug., daily 1-4. Trails during daylight hrs year-round."

The pond mentioned above is called Miller's Pond, and it is the particular secret space I'm sharing today.  You tromp through the woods, and you marvel at the enormous old rhododendrons, and you spot the trail markers, and then you come to a set of steps braced with wooden timbers leading down.

You walk down the step and follow the trail around to your right, and then suddenly you are on the edge of a pond.  There are no houses, docks, boats, or roads to be seen.  Just trees, circling the pond.  It is quiet, and lovely, and serene.

Summertime, And The Livin' Is BUSY...

I'll channel Brittney Spears for a second here and say,  "Oh My GOD, YA'LL!!  Are ya'll as  busy as Ah am this summer?!?!"

These last few years since my daughter started school, I've noticed a pattern.  After the holidays, everything slows down like crazy.  The weather usually keeps activities  a little quieter, and since I live on Cape Cod, the population drops like... well, pre-conservatorship Brittney's panties. 

(Geez, I wonder how many hits that word combination is gonna channel our way?  Hi, Perverts!)

Then comes spring, and vacations, and pretty soon all anyone can talk about is how fast the school year is going by, and then BAM!  School is over, and it's summer!  Yay!  Summer's here!  Woo hoo!  Time to chill out, relax, and for us down here, it's finally time to enjoy the utter fabulousity of summer on the Cape.

Except after the first week or two, everything starts getting busy.  All of those sleepy playdates we thought we'd have?  Well, half my kids' friends are in camp and the other half are on vacation.  Then we were on vacation, and now there's the big musical reprisal and "American Girl" camp and summer school and YMCA camp for a week and holy moly!  Aren't we supposed to be relaxing?

It has become so crazy busy for us over the last week that I actually found myself wistfully thinking of the start of the school year.  That's right - I can hardly wait for school to start!  I know, I should bite my tongue, because soon enough it will get cold and gray.  But I feel like I can't even catch my breath, and that is no way to spend a beautiful July weekend. 

Cabin Fever

I never thought my family would be suffering from cabin fever in June.  February, sure.  March, definitely.  The spring is usually a heavy television-and-computer-game period for us.  By June, though, we are supposed to be enjoying the great outdoors, right? 

Nope.  It is theoretically beautiful outside today.  A little hot, but breezy.  As we learned last year, however, our son's allergies are severe at this time of the year.  He takes multiple medications, and yet within 15 minutes of playing outside, he will begin rubbing his eyes and asking to come inside. 

And then there are the cicadas.  Some of my friends from other places on Cape Cod have been telling me they haven't seen any yet.  I've invited them over to see for themselves, but no one has taken me up on my offers, perhaps because after listening to me moaning, "OmygodIhatethesehorriblethings!" they reconsider. 

We are right in the heavily infested zone, and if you are a bug-hater like me?  It's awful.   You can't even get away from them inside, because the noise they make is almost constant.  They let up a bit in the evenings, but from the moment you wake up, this is what you hear:

We are going away next weekend, and while I am eager for the trip itself, I embarrassed to admit I'm also really excited just to be leaving the house.

Happy Multi-Holiday!

If I were ever asked for advice by a bride-to-be about her nuptial planning, I would tell her to think carefully before planning a wedding in the first two weeks of June.  Especially if, like me, she had multiple family members with birthdays in the first half of the month.

Today is Father's Day, and I hope that those who celebrate their fathers have a great day and that those who don't have a day that passes quickly.  I say that not to be snarky but to acknowledge that for many people, their relationships with their fathers are not something to celebrate.  Either they are non-existent or abusive, and I know that these socially imposed holidays are hard for them.

I am lucky to have a great relationship with my father.  He is a gem, my dad, a brilliant and unique guy.  I always say that I married a guy just like my dad in the ways that I most love and admire... and who is completely opposite in the ways that my dad drives me crazy.  Which is probably why Dr. V and I are celebrating our 17th anniversary today!

Combined with his birthday last weekend and all of the end of school activities, it's almost too much to celebrate.  We went out last weekend and kind of agreed that the fancy dinner was a "Birthday/Anniversary/Father's Day" dinner. Today has been a much quieter celebration... and by "celebration," I mean doing laundry and spreading mulch.

It has actually been sweet today, having the two related holidays on one day.  I listened to our daughter read the poem she wrote at school about why she loves him, and one of the things she said was that he is goofy and makes her laugh.  I flashed back to our wedding day, standing arm in arm with MY dad at the back of the church.  We stood for a few moments alone, and his murmuring encouragement and hugs made me feel safe and calm.   

Watching Pepper read, I'd like to think that someday she will stand with her arm linked in my husband's, getting ready to commit her life to someone she loves deeply.  I know that if she is nervous, he will calm her (or more likely tease her) and take away her anxiety, just like my dad did for me.  ____________________________________

(Cross-posted at A Smeddling Kiss)